Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom asked me out of the blue if I was ever going to consider getting married. It wasn't until after the conversation ended that I remembered my siblings are all either single like I am, or incapable of having children. I am my mother's last hope of becoming a grandma, and she reminds me all the time. FML
Today, my mum asked when she's getting grandkids. I had to tell her that, at 21 years-old, I hadn't even managed to get a boyfriend yet. FML
Today, my mom had to go off on my grandmother because I don’t have kids yet and she, "wants great grand babies before she dies." My grandmother was going to gift me a baby outfit for me to get another hint. I’m 25 and can’t conceive because of health issues. I may never have my own kids. She knows. FML
Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I tried to have a conversation with my mom. As usual, it turned into an hour long gush about how much she loves her grandkids. When I said, “You know you have children as well, right?” She goes, "Yeah but I only had them to have grandchildren for me!” FML
Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML
Today, my mother and I were watching a movie. She got up to go to bed, and I blurted out, "Please don't leave me." Her response: "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML
Today, my mom has been aggressively trying to get me to marry one of her coworkers, who is around my age. Apparently she loves her like the daughter she always wanted, and since it would be silly to adopt her; she is determined she will be her daughter-in-law instead, whether I like it or not. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
The fact that she knows bothers you? Hear this everyone: WE KNOW. We were all kids once, and we know what you do. As long as she isn't walking in on you while you're climbing the flagpole, you're fine.
joep1 7
Don't worry man, masturbating is healthy and normal. But hey, you cant blame her. What mother doesn't want to be a grandmother!
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Comments (74)
joep1 7
Don't worry man, masturbating is healthy and normal. But hey, you cant blame her. What mother doesn't want to be a grandmother!
patrickalamo 48
If you can't be with the one you love love the one you with. In this case it would be: me, myself and I.
williamcarter93 13
Mine. Not everyone is obsessed with having grandchildren.
emag_eht 18
My mom says she doesn't want grad kids.
emag_eht 18
**GRANDkids
DuRpY 5
Mothers of sixteen-year olds?
mikeofthunder 13
Did you thumb your own comment there, bob? :P
chell1894 13
No joke my fiancé's overbearing Mother will probably come and kidnap our future child. She worries me :/
saksxalmo 20
I don't want to have kids, much less grandkids! It irks me that people think all women want to/should have kids. -_-
Metallica36176 16
Mine doesn't. Both of my parents don't want grandchildren and they raised us that way. They taught us that this world is getting worse and it would be horrible to bring children into this world now. Bring on the down votes -_-
deppengi 4
Is this a bad time to say that mother shouldn't be capitalized?
TG_Wolf 1
I'm gay and I dislike children. Who cares what mother wants.
zoeerm 4
sad... rlly sad... i feel for u... not at all embarrassing?
RealReality 12
That's okay, you'll also need medical attention for that BURN.
MagicGiraffe 12
Too bad all his lotion is used up...
gc327072 31
Apply water to burned area....
SenselessPattern 12
She just doesn't understand the bond between a man and his hands.
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
You right hand will always be the best woman in the world. She never talks back and puts out anytime you need her too
ComTlancy 12
But I'm naturally left-handed... :/
Classlfied 4
If sex involving 3 people is a 3some and sex involving 2 people a 2some does this make you handsome?
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
No, it makes you lonesome.
rebel_belle1974 5
put your talents to use, donate sperm
DuRpY 5
Is it really a talent when it cums as easily as breathing? Then call me talented!
mario2012 18
Apparently 5has a talent for getting buried every time he makes a comment.
DocBastard 40
The fact that she knows bothers you? Hear this everyone: WE KNOW. We were all kids once, and we know what you do. As long as she isn't walking in on you while you're climbing the flagpole, you're fine.
gc327072 31
Climbing the flagpole? Now that's a new one...
Pudagiah 12
Doc, I'd love to know the story behind your newest profile picture. Really enjoying the blog!
DocBastard 40
Thanks! It's an X-ray of the foot of a 16 year old kid who went joyriding in his parents' car while they were out of town. He crashed and walked away...barefoot. Those little rectangular things in his foot are pieces of glass that he stepped on that I had to extract.
X_Codes 11
We know what we do, we know what you do, and we know that you know what we do. All we ask is that you not be a creeper about it.
j_cat187 20
It's funny doc because if that was me when I was 16, I wouldn't be going to the hospital.
sonicgreg 12
I pictured mario I may need one too.
saksxalmo 20
Is it legal to post your patients' medical information online? Do you get their permission or...?
thrAsHeRr9081 16
It's not like we know who his patients are. He isn't violating any HIPAA laws.
saksxalmo 20
Oh, ok. I will never understand why FML commenters thumb certain things down. I was asking a serious question...
thatKidzmOm 10
There's never a name or any identifying information attached to any of his blogs. And it always says (not real name) if he uses a name. The blog is fantastic actually.
happylawyer 16
He is not revealing name and is not pairing the xray to a particular person. What cannot be done is tell that some particular person had this condition or treatment.
YourEvilHero 12
Surprise her, bring home a prostitute. prostitutes make lovely additions to any family
iseyixes 18
Really? Bring home a prostitute? Might as well bring home roaches.
deBlobX 12
Well you can't **** roaches soooo...
gc327072 31
29- Hey, that's a completely legal profession in Nevada! It's a job in which (literally) they're doing what they love.
Ren_Uchiha 11
"I married a *****!" "How dare you, she's a nice lady!"
RedPillSucks 33
She's a very kinky girl The kind you don't take home to mother She will never let your spirits down Once you get her off the street
shark_girl 9
Yeah, am I the only one who saw Milk Money? THAT ended well.
jojimugo 20
Her knowing ....
chellyX92 8
Your point is?
RedPillSucks 33
It's the answer to OPs question.
KiddNYC1O 22
No, sorry, it's the latter.
sjdbeinska 4
and nw you will post this on fml so the whole world knows! :D
paaronoid 4
Sorry, but this isn't even an FML. 99.9% of parents know that their sons/daughters ********** and have sex. There's nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about. It's human nature. They do it, too.
Rancor 5
THAT'S NOT TRUE, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!