Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom strictly banned me from doing any of my chores, because I missed a spot while wiping the counters. She then screamed at me for not doing my chores. When I went to go do them, she screamed at me for doing my chores when I’m not allowed. I can’t win here. FML
Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML
Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML
Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML
Today, I got an F because I’m an idiot and wrote my essay on WW1 instead of WW2. I offered to resubmit a correct essay, but my mom stormed to school to demand it be changed to at least a B, because it was a good essay, even if it was on the wrong war. God, she’s impossible and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
im_bored_tired 12
You do put a space after a comma. But you never put a comma after a space.
poccocurantes 7
Did she bitch you out in one long run-on sentence?
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Comments (77)
The_sGTw_0979 4
I'm happy to see that you do not take after your mother, in that respect.
neo_fu 2
Pretend to know nothing about how to deal with the problem,and then 'find solutions' together
Ellenpop 15
Maybe if it was a semicolon I could be sympathetic, but a comma? That's just pathetic, my kindergartener knows that.
poccocurantes 7
My mother had problems with her colon. now she's in a comma.
perdix 31
#34, Aw, that's sad . . . what happens when she has her period?
Ellenpop 15
She gets very exclamational. Mark my words, don't question it.
poccocurantes 7
Well it started with her period and moved to her * We didn't know anything was wrong until she dropped a lot of £s.
bigwiensch 15
mom is always right < spell check is always right
bigdipper32 5
maybe a sandy hook teacher?
Ellenpop 15
Too soon. Actually no, that will never be ok.
perdix 31
#41, are you going for the record for the most rapidly buried comment? I did my part, you dumb ass!
U_GotitDude 18
Don't try. Parents make it impossible to win
MikeyScene420 17
My mom does the same thing...when we first got our MacBook Pro she would not accept that the delete key works the same was a backspace key
galevrspeeta 3
Ha u can't win with any mom
galevrspeeta 3
Ha u can't win with any mom
My_Life24 22
I'd rather agree with the computer than my mom. Just saying.