Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom strictly banned me from doing any of my chores, because I missed a spot while wiping the counters. She then screamed at me for not doing my chores. When I went to go do them, she screamed at me for doing my chores when I’m not allowed. I can’t win here. FML
Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML
Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML
Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML
Today, I got an F because I’m an idiot and wrote my essay on WW1 instead of WW2. I offered to resubmit a correct essay, but my mom stormed to school to demand it be changed to at least a B, because it was a good essay, even if it was on the wrong war. God, she’s impossible and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
im_bored_tired 12
You do put a space after a comma. But you never put a comma after a space.
poccocurantes 7
Did she bitch you out in one long run-on sentence?
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Comments (77)
im_bored_tired 12
You do put a space after a comma. But you never put a comma after a space.
silvercamaro 22
Grammar nazi's everywhere will soon be in love with you, you have given them a motto to live by.
ChaoticBacon 6
You,my good sir,are correct.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Wait ,you mean I'm not doing it right , my whole life has been a lie!
imavelociraptor 6
Actually 56- I believe that is supposed to be a semi-colon...
Iamevil123 16
Pesky MS word thinking it knows everything.
Slimma 20
Mom is always right... cept when she is wrong... then you make sure she sounds right.
pieman528 10
And if you can't make her sound right, then you're wrong, which makes her right, and you'll always still be wrong.
poccocurantes 7
Did she bitch you out in one long run-on sentence?
Feared 9
Yeah, and she didn't pause after her verbal commas.
xeka 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Double... Tripple... Quad faillllllll! XD
poccocurantes 7
Don't take it so hard. I'm sure in a few years you will be able to come up with something interesting to say.
Mister_Triangle 21
We can't all be Carrot Tops.
DudeEvil 22
Get a book, and then get her to read a page = problem solved! :D
DanielleinDC 34
Assuming she has reading comprehension that has advanced beyond books with pictures. I have to wonder how someone never got through her head that one very basic fact of punctuation.
BulldogHoops 14
Wow,your mom is a dumbass,in fact,I'd say she's absolutely incompetent. I mean,who doesn't know that?
UltimateGIRness 16
Apparently you
1215116a 14
^ Ahem. I believe this person attempted to pull something called a "joke".
UltimateGIRness 16
14- I realized that not long after commenting. Thumb me down all y'all want
poccocurantes 7
Oh the truth comes out. Daddy didn't marry mommy for her brains.
Lacist 19
Well my dad is almost like this but it's just that he's stubborn and foreign he knows some English but occasionally doubts what I tell him is right or wrong.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Space after commas is inefficient,don't you think?
False_Stupidity 42
Yeah,It's a waste of space!
Jordath_Fil 11
Somebody is a computer programmer....
beddington 7
Tell her it's not you making her look stupid, but Bill Gates.
Mister_Triangle 21
Bill Gates didn't invent grammar or spellcheck...
klutz44 28
What?! No, he totally did. Bill Gates invented everything.
andyyroxx 20
Your father married Miss Right without knowing her first name - Always.
perdix 31
No, Bill Gates is making her look stupid. If you don't want to put a space after comma, that's your business.