Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom strictly banned me from doing any of my chores, because I missed a spot while wiping the counters. She then screamed at me for not doing my chores. When I went to go do them, she screamed at me for doing my chores when I’m not allowed. I can’t win here. FML
Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML
Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML
Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML
Today, I got an F because I’m an idiot and wrote my essay on WW1 instead of WW2. I offered to resubmit a correct essay, but my mom stormed to school to demand it be changed to at least a B, because it was a good essay, even if it was on the wrong war. God, she’s impossible and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
im_bored_tired 12
You do put a space after a comma. But you never put a comma after a space.
poccocurantes 7
Did she bitch you out in one long run-on sentence?
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Comments (77)
PenguinBitch 44
Ignore her and let ABC Spell Check deal with her moronic ass.
slacker_69 6
yeah your mom may thing she's always right but spell check is always right
Mads_1234 28
Just leave. If she doesn't believe you, it isn't worth arguing with her.
DocBastard 40
It's too bad FML doesn't have a feature to eliminate grammar errors. Like a bazooka. Yes I know that was a fragment! Sue me, you motherfu*BLAAM*
PrincessLiLi_fml 7
You also forgot a comma after 'yes'.
vindicated21 12
just turn off auto-correct, then she can look stupid all by herself.
mistercrow 9
Yeah but if auto correct dosn't feel ya then it gives ya the wrong word and makes ya look stupider!!
perdix 31
Turn of the grammar check and let her make herself look stupid, without any help from you.
cockneywormhole 16
Never argue with microsoft word.
perdix 31
#20, I do all the time. "Oilwell" is jargon that can be used in certain technical contexts and does not need to be separated into two words. And, don't get me started about "douchenozzle!"
maosquare 18
Trust me 20, microsoft's grammar check is appalling. The spell check is rather shocking too.
cristy91 33
Microsoft word tries to get me to use semicolons every other sentence. If I were to follow it's directions, my writing would sound like the wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle was speaking.
TheDrifter 24
You just need the Canadian language version Perdix. It knows about oilwells, douchecanoes and recognizes bacon as a noun, verb and adjective.
littlelegs93 5
that's her problem not yours, she will look stupid in the long run.
Geometric 18
Rules of family life: Rule #1: The Mother is always right. Rule #2: If the mother is wrong, refer to rule #1.
perdix 31
"If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
bestnameright 14
Wait,what are you talking about?
bestnameright 14
Wait,what are you talking about?