Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML
Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
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Top comments
Dthsapprntc 23
Make sure you have a good head start, then yell at the top of your lungs that you are breaking up with her and start running. Run fast, run far, and never ever ever look back. Or just suck it up and deal with being hospitalized for a while.
Km1490 20
Just tell her.. the longer the wait the harder she will punch you..
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Comments (96)
Dthsapprntc 23
Make sure you have a good head start, then yell at the top of your lungs that you are breaking up with her and start running. Run fast, run far, and never ever ever look back. Or just suck it up and deal with being hospitalized for a while.
GreatGeak 8
or grow a pair. but i think that goes well with #1's second part. ^_^
Rainhawk94 27
Everytime time i see the phrase"grow a pair" i think of Betty white. Why a pair, why not a ******, that takes a beating
arturo_s 10
Invest in elbow-pads, shin-pads, knee pads, and a helmet along with going with #1s idea and you should be fine
AnOriginalName 19
#29, dicks tend to take beatings fairly often too.
soccerstar1996 18
Lol it says 5ML instead of FML
ninthfirewings 11
She probably will just meet him back at his place
aahitserin 5
Don't forget the cup #36!
krad204 21
Or just get something to protect your junk, meet her somewhere and tell her it's over, then just leave. If she tries to beat you up, stop her from doing so, I don't know what the big deal is...
BananaN0se 13
You could always be on a drive then drive past her house drop her off Say "look at my ex girlfriend's house" then drive away
Dalleee 29
talk about bad luck :/
Exhaling 12
More like a troll mother or just a clueless mother. Either one fits.
Rizzen 27
OP, you need to man the **** up and do it
isuckwithnames 22
Pain is the body saying, that is bad and damages me avoid that., which cause the instinctual reaction to avoid it. Which stems from thousands of years of avoiding things that hurt like a wolf bite.
Morqan_Freeman 14
OP needs to first master the power of the 4 elements. Air, water, earth and fire. Only then could OP become the Avatar and stand a chance in a fight against the enemy.
fluffywaspluka 7
Put her in a FedEx box and send it to Mexico.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
His mom or his girlfriend?
Nordrag 26
why not both?
deviking 10
*mexican music plays*
MRVOlivia 22
Olé!
dachayke 16
TheTacoMan is going to get quite a surprise, isn't he?
mrfancyman 7
I'm so done right now
Km1490 20
Just tell her.. the longer the wait the harder she will punch you..
thatnucca 36
Yep, sometimes you just have to take the L for the team... Yourself, your ego and...... Such is life
That_Ginger 18
The sooner you man up and tell her, the sooner all the drama that you're predicting, will be over. It's tough but you just have to do it and be honest.
isuckwithnames 22
I hate the phrase, 'Man up'. The OP is a man and cannot be anymore a man. If he wants to avoid pain so be it. It's like ripping of a adhesive bandage, it will hurt notated what, so it doesn't matter how you do it.
regenerate 19
You might want to look into leaving the country.
NightHawk387 22
Or faking his death.
dachayke 16
Or being a man and fighting back if she tries to hurt you. It's self-defense, which is perfectly legal.
abnormalbird 11
#57 yeah but then everyone will think he is a dick.
ks23 9
It's not you it's me.....oldie but a goodie
Dthsapprntc 23
I prefer it's not me, it's you. OP might end up dead if he tries that one though.
outoftown 27
So asking your mom to tell her is out of the question?
kmartFTW 12
Fake your death! That always works!
minesbiggerr 25
Didn't work so well when Juliet tried it....
NightHawk387 22
It did for Sherlock.