Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML
Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
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Top comments
Dthsapprntc 23
Make sure you have a good head start, then yell at the top of your lungs that you are breaking up with her and start running. Run fast, run far, and never ever ever look back. Or just suck it up and deal with being hospitalized for a while.
Km1490 20
Just tell her.. the longer the wait the harder she will punch you..
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Comments (96)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Or just a psycho controlling bitch, that's always a possibility.
Cedrina 11
now you should be scared weather you will live to see the next day or not.
TXFernwoods 26
Oh Snap!
awilliams44 9
so u proposed and now u wanna dump her.? good luck op!
mikbrooke 25
no. re-read the fml. the mother asked when will he be proposing. he wants to break up with her.
pompomkiwi 14
5ml and this still got published ha wow high five
SeahawksnationxD 7
Everybody stop with the "Man up!". If OP was a woman, you guys would all be saying call 911! Everybody here just thinks men can deal with anything, and women can get away with anything.
dachayke 16
It goes both ways. I haven't seen one person comment on this FML saying it was illegal to hurt OP. And if it was a man threatening to hit a woman or someone commenting to fight back, everyone would go ballistic.
Coeliacchic93 21
there was one comment saying fight back it's self defence but that's it
dachayke 16
#71, I think that was me, since I said that a few hours after leaving my last comment.
frizz101 22
Pretty sure OP was exaggerating, I don't really think ops girlfriend (ex girlfriend?) would really put him in the hospital.
DarthVader77 9
Thre letters for you: R-U-N!!!
Pussycat86 18
wtf is a 5ml?
Paksenarrion 24
This is almost word for word from another FML.
mata2 7
Just do it, Don't let her keep thinking your in to her. Grow up and tell her how you feel.