Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left-handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML
Today, I learned my boss, the CEO of a multinational nonprofit, is so computer illiterate that he hadn't realized he could resize the File Explorer window on his computer, leading to days of delay of him getting work to my team, and a lot of unhappy notes. FML
Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML
Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML
Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML
Today, my boss asked me to send an email on his behalf with an important report attached. I've already received 3 responses from directors commenting on poor spelling and factual errors. I get paid 1/4 the salary of my boss and he can't even write properly. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, my boss finally worked out that by not giving the lads a pay rise to £18 an hour, instead just offering them overtime when necessary, it actually cost the equivalent of raising each employees salary to £26 an hour, for a whole year. He’s is blaming me because I issue the pay checks. FML
Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML
Today, I sat down and worked out I get paid £26000 a year for working 40 hours a week. Meanwhile my boss gets paid £115000 to answer emails when he remembers to and to attend 5 hours of mandatory meetings a month, which he now does over video chat from his vacation cottage in Scotland. FML
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Top comments
Butterbuns 1
Because using a different hand will automatically make your computer behave differently. Your boss is an idiot.
Rupus 0
Haha, I think you need a raise. Or she needs a pay cut.
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Comments (162)
themixedt4pe 0
You might be glad to know that I'm a left-handed female, and I know the difference between left and right clicking. You boss is just an idiot. The bright side is that with your obvious skills, you should be rungs ahead of her on the corporate ladder in no time.
PureGold 0
My mom has told me sooo many stories of the idiots with higher positions than they should have in the company she works for. *sigh*...it's just they way things go lol. At least be glad you have a job. And #52...why are you such an idiot? Way to assume that the OP is not only a guy, but a sexist guy because they referred to their boss as a "she". Seriously, are you retarded? Last time I checked, "she" is not, and never has been, a degrading word towards women. You really just made yourself seem ignorant and arrogant, jumping to stupid conclusions before you even read the OP's username, GIRLlfriday. Which makes it kinda obvious to me that the OP is a girl. And sometimes girls ARE stupid...if a girl calls another girl from work stupid, it's okay, but if a guy calls a girl form work stupid, it's sexist? That just doesn't seem right. And I'M a girl. Also, #52, I don't see any logic behind your calling poster #2 an idiot. Looks to me like you were trying to find someone to call an idiot so you would seem like less of one. Well, you failed. Idiot.
JiggstheMan 0
Hahaha. She's retarded
151Henry151 0
#43-- you are incorrect. #13 has the correct grammar. So the two possibilities are "She earns $10,000 more than me," or "She earns $10,000 more than I." To most people, the first one SOUNDS correct, instinctively, but they are wrong. In either instance, it's a shortened sentence. One of the shortened sentences comes from a full-length sentence which is correct, the other from one which is not. The two full length sentences are "She earns $10,000 more than I earn," or "She earns $10,000 more than me earn." You can clearly see that the first of these two sentences is the correct choice. The reason this method of determination is valid is that the "earn" is implied in the shortened version of the sentence. Theoretically, if you drop off at the word "I," (or "me" if you are going to be incorrect), you could be saying any number of things--"She earns $10,000 more than I HAVE," or "She earns $10,000 more than I STOLE," or "She earns $10,000 more than I COST," as if you were for sale. However, if you don't specify, it is standard procedure to assume that the same word which was applied to the first person in the comparison (in this case, 'earn') also applies to the second person in the comparison. Therefore, the sentence "She earns $10,000 more than I" implies the sentence "She earns $10,000 more than I earn," and the sentence "She earns $10,000 more than me" implies the sentence "She earns $10,000 more than me earn." If you're not convinced, go hire a ******* grammar expert, who might be able to explain it more clearly. I'm right, whether you understand or not.
themixedt4pe 0
#66... You are officially my hero. =)
danceinthedark_fml 0
to everyone arguing about the "I" vs. "me": it can go either way!! like holy ****! if it were supposed to be "more than I do", then the "do" would be in there. take this example: he is taller than me he is taller than I am both are grammatically correct. sheesh, you people get too into your grammar. and #2: epic fail
GFLiE 0
For those of you who are bashing 52, here's a lil tip. There is a thing called sarcasm. Sarcasm is defined by Webster as: "harsh or bitter derision or irony," or "a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark." If you compare 52's comment with either of these definitions, you will find, that 52 is, in fact, using "sarcasm." The poster is simply mocking those who would actually overreact in this way to this FML.
jeri2011 0
Ah, I absolutely love all the arguments on grammar over the internet. I especially love how all the arguments on here seems to bring more attention to FMLs than the actual FML does. Also, GFLiE, I see what you mean. I take back my other comment. Sorry #52, unless you ARE serious. But... yeah.
mouseintern 0
Get used to it. This is not at all uncommon. Just wait until you have to train somebody to do the simplest tasks when that person was hired just because they're related to someone. Yay nepotism.
fmljw 2
best...fml...ever