Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Time out
Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML
Pull yourself together
Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
Snooze fest
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Gimme the D
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Old habits die hard
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Parenting is exhausting
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Top comments
drakem 7
Maybe he's just into unconscious sex.
billiejoeinabox 7
Pretty sure unconscious sex is rape...
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Comments (100)
queenofbrooklyn 6
TWEETS RAPE WHISTLE
LenUrban 14
messed up