NotSatan
Today, my husband refuses to stop answering my phone calls with, "Haaaaail Satan!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Alex
Jeffersonville, United States
No reply
Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML
newbffswelcome
Hanoi, Vietnam
Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
grubbieduc
United States
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Stupid
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML
Kristyn
United States
Fishy
Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML
Satan
United States
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
Jane
United States
Miserable bastard
Today, I called my husband when his shift at work ended to talk about what we needed to do this weekend. He got angry and asked if he could have "five goddamn minutes" after work to get home and change before I started "throwing the fucking to do list at me." FML
badwife
Japan
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Anonymous
Cancel the wedding
Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML
Anonymous
Holden, United States
Controlling
Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML
Top comments
Master Buck 8
Hail Hydra !
Glowworm56 27
This is actually pretty funny IMO.
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Comments (13)
Garnetshaddow 30
Well... Now I'm going to start doing that. Maybe switch out deities every so often for fun, but for sure start doing that. Thank your husband for the amazing idea!
anaheimangels40 11
I am sure he calls you Satan with good reason!
IHaveThePower 18
Well, it might convince your boss to limit calls to work hours, so hey, there's a silver lining...