Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML
Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
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Top comments
texanengineer 4
...so more roses then?
rbubbles 20
you're mean, why don't you try giving him hints on what to do bed next time. the flowers were a lovely gesture though so I hope you appreciated them instead of having a sook about sneezing
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Comments (114)
texanengineer 4
...so more roses then?
ahhhFYL 0
that's the first thing you think of when you get roses? messed up.
cynthiaF 0
They mean more roses because in this sitiuation it's a benefit. ;)
EvilDave 13
#2 should be: "She should go see her doctor."
hotrod14 0
don't complain u married him.
coolkid_matt 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
LOL. He must fail.
jsx12345 0
no he doesnt. He tried to be nice and buy flowers for his lady. You can see that he cares about her.
heyguysitsjosh 8
OP sounds like a bitch. life isn't all about sex and orgasms. be happy he cares about you, you ungrateful *****.
Accept 11
Kinky
Iamnotmyself 17
Sneezing and Orgasming, best things ever.
bbucaro98 0
4 ur pic scares me
deviable 9
well considering the myth connecting sneezing to orgasms is wrong, that's pretty far.
instnt1nfction 17
it's wrong indeed, my sister sneezes 16 times in a row. it sounds like CHI, CHI, CHI, true story even though the sneeze sounds fake
whatfml 0
yeh that defiently not how your sister sounds when she orgasms!
mcxhunni 0
i never sneeze when i come!
Bradley_Dillon 39
Really? No one got that reference. ):
DropDeadSerena 0
wow D:
bentleysdad11611 0
well Fathers Day just passed and he bought you a gift so at least he cares about you
rbubbles 20
you're mean, why don't you try giving him hints on what to do bed next time. the flowers were a lovely gesture though so I hope you appreciated them instead of having a sook about sneezing
jandera 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
forget that the man should know what to do.
Dvx 0
Why don't you tell him what you like or what you need so he can actually pleasure you
demonspeed 0
indeed...it's not only his fault. maybe you should try helping him to get you there. women are like rubix's cubes...some of us are just better at it, others need help
kingatowning 2
also, a man does like being told what to do, especially in bed. doing that just might turn him off, because your hurting his pride
WallyTheWombat 0
Hurt his pride by telling him what to do? That's funny, you're saying that if a girl told you what she likes, your pride will be hurt MORE than if she didn't have an ******?
BobsUrAunty 2
it seems he's only in it for himself :s
alogoc 12
ingorant tuhhg
EvilPotato 15
I say as you guys have sex you should put roses on the bed, BAM problem solved.