Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Tomorrow, he'll be boasting to his friends that he gave you such a good time you can't even walk.
soulebelius 17
But they do it in ****...
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Comments (92)
MostDope11 7
Crutches !
mete_orito 34
I don't see the problem. He just just did what he was told to do...:-)
maximus_prime 24
No wonder you can't walk straight OP, look at your user name, "**** my arse".
bboyhomie 13
First of all, the heat might if scrambled his Brain, so next time use a fan. Second of all, have a super fun time from your neighborhood creeper •_•
Heaven121313 9
insomniac badge
damarismattei 4
I don't know why your complaining.
ssvaghasia 5
lol
kemando 22
"Guys, my wife can't walk right if you know what I'm sayin'!"
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
Ouch try alternating ice then heat.
jhs578650 9
You should just assume that anything you say to a guy will be taken literally.