Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it wasn't my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it wasn't my sister either, she said, "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My grandmother died yesterday. We were close and she basically raised me. FML
Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FYLDeep 26
What the hell where you doing in bed? Even if you're alone you should be up for New Years.
mercedes3210 6
sad you should hang out with your grandma
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
ImaginaryFoe 1
Being drunk and calling up your grandkid does not equal a social life. It's possible grams was being the life of a party but it's just as possible that she is a lonely alcoholic with nothing better to do.
DocBastard 40
I WAS looking at grandma being a cool older party chick, but after reading your comment, I now see her as a wrinkly, decrepit old bat drinking Jameson Irish Whiskey all alone out of a plastic juice cup, then passing out in her easy chair watching "Matlock". Thanks a heap for killing my vision of Cool Grandma.
IrishSoulja 4
YDI go get some friends
bluefairy_fml 24
So you're actually jealous of your grandmother?? Sure, being alone in bed at New Year's is very sad, but so is being an immature drunkard. I pity the people who cannot have fun without getting drunk and doing something stupid.
beccusmaximus 0
I fully agree. My fiancé and I just spent time with his family and did fireworks for the kids. Neither of us drink at all, and I don't think we have no social life. Our social life is just different. We didn't not have a good time last night though.
ThatLooksSticky 16
Grannies gone wild! Woo!
stevenmx86 8
I don't know why being awake and drunk means she is more social... This fml says nothing about her being at a party..
skyeyez9 25
Older people can easily have more fun. Their kids are grown and out of the house, retired so they have more money to indulge in their hobbies and social life.
MrsL 0
Don't feel bad, it happened to me, too. My mom drunk dialed me at 9pm (we have a 3 hour time difference) to wish me a Happy New Year, but I was in bed already. My husband had to be up at 4am for work, so no celebrating for us. There's always next year!
samantha_142 0
You don't need to go to a crazy party and get drunk to have a good new years.
k9obsessed 5
I agree with samantha_142. I stayed at home, watched a movie, and sent & received "Happy New Year" texts to/from all my closest friends, and that was plenty fun for me. Call me pathetic or w/e if you want, at least I know how to enjoy myself without having to go to a big party. OP, here's hoping things work out better next year.
jennybeeboobear 0
exact same thing with me.
DakotaCat 4
There's nothing wrong with drinking on New Years. As long as you are old enough and do it conservatively...