Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, after realizing just how stressful my week is going to be, I gave my girlfriend a massage, hoping for some stress relieving sex. I rubbed her for 30 minutes, then she said that she didn't feel "connected" with me and went to sleep. Isn't the point of sex to connect? FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to break a recent dry spell brought on my sickness, stress, and a death in the family. She asked me for sex, but I’m too stressed out even to consider it. Looks like the dry spell is extended indefinitely and it’s all my fault. I’m a shitty boyfriend. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, our boss nicely asked if we were stressed. Before I could answer in the affirmative and ask for help, my colleague replied, “Stress is for the weak!” She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML
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Top comments
grannygruber 6
Haha! She is probably tired of hearing about all the wonderful things sex is good for. According to my husband blow jobs are a cure all for coughing, sore throats, colds, flu, aches & pains, and the list goes on and on.
moneybagz131 6
U got owned!
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Comments (76)
Honda288 2
If she doesn't want to have sex then she doesn't want to have sex. Stay married to you left/right hand a while longer, she'll cone around.
mkhan21 2
I know how u feel man ... -_-
alexiaflip 5
This a truly a fyl
asherm 15
Probably should have started with a back rub ;). Maybe try that next time.
bubba9000 3
Bummage
pwiseman 6
What a bitch ! Dump her.
Bigboned38 0
Go nail her sister
Mayshod 3
Orgasms are a perfect stress reliever. I can only assume she doesn't know that or doesn't cum from intercourse, and guys more than 50% of women don't/can't cum from vaginal intercourse. Take your ego out of the equation and use your fingers, tongue and toys. Our dicks are only one tool in an arsenal of pleasure. If she knows without question you are willing to get her off AND that you know how to get her off, she wont choose stress over sex.
ThecomingofTan 9
I did that, she didn't get off. I stuck my finger in there, and I guess my fingernail got caught and poked a hole in her and she eventually deflated.
xgetxbentx 13
Ydi for trying to get yourself laid by using her stress as a reason. Clearly she just wanted to talk to someone about what's been bugging her.
chrisharrell23 0
O_o. Damn...