Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, after realizing just how stressful my week is going to be, I gave my girlfriend a massage, hoping for some stress relieving sex. I rubbed her for 30 minutes, then she said that she didn't feel "connected" with me and went to sleep. Isn't the point of sex to connect? FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to break a recent dry spell brought on my sickness, stress, and a death in the family. She asked me for sex, but I’m too stressed out even to consider it. Looks like the dry spell is extended indefinitely and it’s all my fault. I’m a shitty boyfriend. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, our boss nicely asked if we were stressed. Before I could answer in the affirmative and ask for help, my colleague replied, “Stress is for the weak!” She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML
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Top comments
grannygruber 6
Haha! She is probably tired of hearing about all the wonderful things sex is good for. According to my husband blow jobs are a cure all for coughing, sore throats, colds, flu, aches & pains, and the list goes on and on.
moneybagz131 6
U got owned!
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Comments (76)
USbrit18 0
Do you think that maybe just finding some smart way to ask for more sex might not actually help with the stress thing? Cuz I'm sure that's the best way to show you care about her problems../
lovebugg101 9
Usually when girls say shit like that they r thinking in their head just grab me and turn me on tell me you want me and **** me . Lol just saying
amisenho 11
Honey, you assume way too much. Thanks for saying "usually," though.
ruffles94 16
Nice that your girlfriend was having a problem and all you could think about was your own 'needs'
helpme69 10
Your girlfriend is stressed out and all you can think of is your dick? Nice, bro.
lickytung12 6
get yourself a new lady. you're being used for something and if it's not sex take it from a man who's been in the same scenario, she gonna **** another dude.
Elisabetha Aarron 18
Why do so many guys think that sex is the answer to a lot of problems. It is sad that instead of trying to help with the stress or problems you are just thinking about yourself.