Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, after realizing just how stressful my week is going to be, I gave my girlfriend a massage, hoping for some stress relieving sex. I rubbed her for 30 minutes, then she said that she didn't feel "connected" with me and went to sleep. Isn't the point of sex to connect? FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to break a recent dry spell brought on my sickness, stress, and a death in the family. She asked me for sex, but I’m too stressed out even to consider it. Looks like the dry spell is extended indefinitely and it’s all my fault. I’m a shitty boyfriend. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, our boss nicely asked if we were stressed. Before I could answer in the affirmative and ask for help, my colleague replied, “Stress is for the weak!” She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML
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Top comments
grannygruber 6
Haha! She is probably tired of hearing about all the wonderful things sex is good for. According to my husband blow jobs are a cure all for coughing, sore throats, colds, flu, aches & pains, and the list goes on and on.
moneybagz131 6
U got owned!
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Comments (76)
ashra_Raivyn 2
Sex works for me but the only difference is my husband is great so work on your skills.
julialinn 2
Try not to be a horndog about it and maybe she'll reconsider?
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
Dude, you must be really bad... Read some Cosmopolitan articles, they tell you everything!
macgyver2009 4
Bitch needs to take it in the butt for that comment.
cmanaus 3
Maybe if you were good at it she would have believed you
PimpinIceCold 0
dumbass probably doesn't know what she is taking about
Bassist5798 0
dump her ass
brandonc 3
sounds like you need to work on your skills... rusty rusty..
KaanTech 0
Op got cockblocked by stupidness Op's gf is missing basically a humans best way of getting joy, pleasure and happiness. Just sayin...
WordSmyth 2
**** her stress, if only it were tangible.
WordSmyth 2
You'll be pounding your fist tonight either out of frustration or you know...