Anonymous
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
StayPositive
United States
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
thatchick3333
United States
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Anonymous
Shelbyville, United States
Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML
WetPhone
United States
Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML
Anonymous
Ireland
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
Anonymous
United States
Irrational response
Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML
pod
United States
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Bellevue, United States
What just happened?
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
burnt
Middle Swan, Australia
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Top comments
Ksweety_fml 27
Time to leave her. that's going to far.
BigSissy 14
Get. Out. Now!!!!!!!!
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Comments (33)
iamlight 6
What the actual ****? That’s psychotic
RichardPencil 32
She sounds crazy! I’ll bet she’s wild in bed. What’s her number?
Mungolikecandy 19
Every comedian needs to judge their audience. You may have misjudged this one.
RichardPencil 32
Comedy is about the unexpected. Everyone else has made comments that are very predictable. I’ll bet no one’s laughed at a single one. I zigged when everyone else zagged. I’m sure everyone laughed, felt ashamed of themselves for laughing and thumbed my comment down. Then, they laughed again.
blondie45 21
You mean your ex girlfriend. Right???
Mungolikecandy 19
If your girlfriend would do that you are in an abusive relationship. She sounds like a very dangerous person.
mccuish 25
Red flag
Miss_Red 18
This is domestic violence. It doesnt matter if you're in a hetero or same-sex relationship. If she feel she can do this to you, it will only get worse if you stay. There is no legitimate excuse for her actions. Please file a police report and leave her. Please.
A Frenchy in Eire 31
That's serious assault and domestic abuse. Report her and get out of that relationship before things escalate.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You're also a victim of assault. Dump her, and report her to the police.
TxKitten79 10
You SHOULD mean your EX-girlfriend. This women assaulted you, the assualt resulted in injuries. This chick is clearly unstable.
AmbrosiaFan 19
First off, you mean "ex who is now in jail for assaulting me by dumping boiling water on me who will be paying my medical bills", right? Sucks, she's batshit. Luckily you didn't put a ring on it yet.