Today, my girlfriend's mother invited me to her 18th birthday. She lied about her age. I have been screwing a minor for 2 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Our secret
Today, my mom is 44 years-old, and she is cheating on my dad with my friend who is 19. And she's paying me to keep her secret. FML
Deception
Today, I found out that the 19-year-old I've been seeing is really 26, with two kids and a pregnant fiancée. I'm only 17. FML
Surprise surprise!
Today, my girlfriend's parents have been having issues with her older brother and her mom called to say she was flying over to stay with my girlfriend. I'm twice my girlfriend's age and she hasn't told her parents about me. She also sublet out her apartment and we have been living together for over a year. FML
Chris Hansen time
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML
Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
I think you should leave
Today, one of my employees lied to his mother and told her that I’m his girlfriend, so she actually came to invite me to Sunday dinner. Nice woman, but I had to tell her he lied, since I’m married, to my wife. She kicked up a huge stink in the shop and accused me of using her son for "hetero sex". FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Big Brother is watching you
Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel, but I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go. She the showed me a picture of my car outside his hotel. FML
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Probably something you should be keeping to yourself.
mt21mt 15
What if she is actually 21, and the mother is playing a practical joke, and you show up all like, "Oh my god happy 18th Birthday!" Then you would look even more hilarious. You sick ****** you.
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Comments (49)
tonyfan00 38
That doesn't give you the excuse to rub her period blood all over her face!
I'madumbass 19
That's the wrong FML. This is a guy having sex with a supposed minor.
cstone12393 6
best comment lol
TheJawsman 18
You know what, I'm calling YDI on this. Assuming you're in the US, your GF should've been in high school. And this never came up? She wasn't going to classes...? Was she a dropout maybe? I realize what your GF did was deceptive, but you seriously need to lift the wool she pulled over your eyes. If you were in a state where the age of consent is higher than 16, you're screwing yourself, not just your GF.
chessu 21
Wouldn't she still have been in high school at the age of 18 though (back where I'm from, you graduate at 19)? Also, maybe the OP works 9-17 anyway, so they would only meet in the evenings. I also don't understand the whole consent age difference... so say they lived on the border of the state, 100m one way he'll go to jail, but aye, 100m the other way it's fine? Like the people are still the same??
PenguinPal3017 19
Never came up? She was lying to him! What do you mean it never came up? I work 9-5 M-F. I wouldn't know if the person I was dating went to high school during that time. How would I know where they are when I'm at work? It seems weird that he never found out, but maybe she hid it well. I've had women lie about their age on online dating, so if I'm suspicious I take them to this restaurant that doesn't serve minors and IDs you as you walk in. It can be very hard to guess ages. I've seen 16 year olds who look 30, and 30 year olds who look 16.
thatslifeiguess7 16
print out cherry pie by warrent and cover her gift in it! The real question is how old are you?
clogree336 6
How do you not know she's 16? I mean I get lying about your age or whatever but 16 is an age that's kind of hard to ignore.. would she not be in high school or something? And you've had 2 years to figure this out..
mssileas 25
But you've been dating for two years..? You never happened to see an ID, or take her somewhere she had to ID herself? I mean, did she lie about going to college too or did you just not get suspicious about where she spends her time..? What about the previous birthdays? None of her friends EVER mentioned anything? Her family? Anybody? Sorry, I just don't see how you can not know something like this for two years. So she may have lied, but you clearly weren't a particularly observant boyfriend.
PenguinPal3017 19
If the drinking age is 21 then from 18-20 you can't drink so they wouldn't be going to those places and wouldn't be getting IDed. If she wanted to hide it she could. She might even have had her friends lie for her. There's no reason for him to see her ID. It would be a little tough to keep it secret but not impossible.
julfunky 29
At the age of 16 I was working and, through my high school’s PSEO program, going to college full-time. A high school student who never set foot in high school. I also didn’t look like a high schooler. Fooling a man would’ve been an easy feat. So everyone who claims it is BS because “you should have known” needs to calm down.
Lobby_Bee 18
If she was going to blackmail you with it she would of done so much earlier. She won't tell, just enjoy the love.
davecross 11
Have fun in jail!!!!! P.s don't drop the soap
mt21mt 15
"You didn't tell your wife you had a vasectomy! This is all your fault!" - typical fml commenter "You should have known your girlfriend has been lying to you for two years, this is all your fault!" - typical fml commenter I'm waiting to see an fml about lesbians, so it will be more difficult for everyone to choose a side.
Liongoddess8 18
OMG I was so confused. I thought you meant that you were invited to your girlfriend's mother's party and that you'd been screwing like a 2 year-old or something, was mortified.