Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend’s arm implant didn’t work this one time we had sex during our closure talk. Now I’m stuck having a baby with a girl I don’t even love anymore, and I have figure out how to explain this to my current girlfriend, who I do love. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I found out I’m pregnant. My fiancé was beaming with joy. However, I’m not sure if he’s the father because I recently had hate sex/quickie with my ex-boyfriend, who is also my coworker. I wish the Earth would swallow me. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the, "I know I'm not your mother…" speech. FML
Today, I found out that I’m pregnant even though I've had the implant for a couple of years. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I got knocked up after only seeing the guy for a few weeks, or the fact that I had a boyfriend for five years and it never happened. The new guy thinks I lied and bailed. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend’s other girlfriend is pregnant. He doesn’t know that I know. A few days ago he told me that he couldn't have a baby with anyone. She has to be the right one, I guess I wasn’t. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
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Top comments
eellik 12
Not having sex with a girl you're breaking up with would have prevented this.
suntrkr 9
Be completely honest with her and be prepared that she will be very pissed off at you. Accept that and tell her that you need to do the right thing by the baby. Be responsible, let your ex know that you, being a mature man, will always help raising this child. This is not the baby's fault. Don't you or anyone try to punish this child over your mistake. I was in a similar situation many years ago. Becoming a dad turned out to be the greatest experience of my life, even under very difficult circumstances. Good luck.
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Comments (7)
copalolita 16
Wait I’m confused. You don’t “love” your ex anymore yet you laid down with her and made a baby?
eellik 12
Not having sex with a girl you're breaking up with would have prevented this.
GoogieWithers 25
Just explain the situation to your new girlfriend. She should already be aware that contraception fails sometimes.
suntrkr 9
Be completely honest with her and be prepared that she will be very pissed off at you. Accept that and tell her that you need to do the right thing by the baby. Be responsible, let your ex know that you, being a mature man, will always help raising this child. This is not the baby's fault. Don't you or anyone try to punish this child over your mistake. I was in a similar situation many years ago. Becoming a dad turned out to be the greatest experience of my life, even under very difficult circumstances. Good luck.
JuneBleeds4 20
Breakup sex is pretty common but... Nothing is 100% preventative. Always. Cover. Up. Hard lesson to learn but hopefully the kid doesn't suffer for it.
poopface82 25
I’m guessing she was on top when you did it. Because in both cases, you ****** up.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
What the hell kind of birth control is an arm implant??? Regardless, A) you were breaking up so you shouldn't have had sex with her again anyway, and B) that's a weird form of birth control so you should have also used a condom.
karan7991kumar 6
arm implants are long term hormonal implants which work for years after being inserted once. alas, it still isn’t 100% effective