Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML
Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend, in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted, "My girlfriend is so stupid, she can't even text the right number." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I have a feeling this will be one of the most grammatically-corrected threads in the history of FML. That should serve as fair warning to all the "ur" idiots out there.
happle 21
I think saying it is fine since it sounds like "should've." Your girlfriend sounds like a bitch, OP.
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Comments (161)
cjslancer 2
No, "should've" is "should have".
Bekll 31
If this was all spoken aloud then pronunciation-wise why would she assume you were meaning "of" in place of "'ve"?
wthatcher87 3
Why is she confronting you about trash and then having an argument about it? It's trash, just say "hey, please take the trash out" and then you get off your ass and do it. Life goes on.
earlw 6
Can you say "whooped".
longtimesunshine 4
maybe you could say whipped....
warrantofficer94 2
Should've is should have, it has ve at the end. Does "of" have a v, or an e anywhere???
sparklethelette 6
"should've" is an improper contraction for should have but comes out sounding like "should of". You're still right. High five.
Strikerr 5
your girlfriend is a bitch. sorry.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
I don't get it
perdix 31
Somehow, I think you're going to crack one day and blurt out a "YOLO." Your girlfriend will then launch a successful comedy career with material based on you.
winfieldALJD 6
That's just pronunciation. There is no discrimination against different accents of English saying they have improper use of grammar. Grammar is structure and wording, not vocal pronunciation.
winfieldALJD 6
Because it doesn't sound like you meant to say those exact words.