Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML
Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, my husband told me he wants a $600 birthday gift. He doesn't understand why I said that wasn't happening, and is now mad at me. Not only can we not afford that, he only spent less than $10 on my birthday gift last month. FML
Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
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Top comments
justasillygirl 0
What a bitch!! Sounds to me like she is a gold digger or a *****.
Luckster 0
Dude....dump that bitch and find a woman that doesn't thrive on material gain!
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Comments (141)
Hava_fml 0
You have to get rid of her, man.
eric01 0
YDI, you need to grow a pair of balls and tell that bitch who is the boss
CL41RE 0
give it to your mom
andlifesuxagain 0
Three Things... 1. If you plan on marrying this broad-prenup, anti nup, and never give her a credit card (or give her one with a small small limit with no access to the checking account. 2. Now is the perfect time to sell the crappy stuff you never liked that she got you and go get some sports tickets or whatever you really like instead of a scarff or some ugly piece of art. or 3. Sell her stuff and get a present for yourself and send her a thank you card. (ive personally seen my friend sell her bf's gifts to get her something for her b-day!) but FYL...
andie_4 3
alright, well, honestly, is it really that big of a deal?? so she didnt get you a birthday present, boohoo. it was pretty low of her to b selfish that way, but i dont think you should dump her ass just bcuz you didnt get a gift on ur birthday. just tell her she owes you ;]
UncleverName_FYL 0
OP she doesn’t need to buy you a gift for your b-day, just tell her to get on her knees and give you a bj.
Hjelloo 0
Dump her and kill her. She's a stupid bitch ***** **** **** hussy and deserves to die.
hey_nightmare 0
agreed. :]
cuppy_fml 0
take back what you got her and get something for yourself!!!
ducklamp 0
YDI, gift giving is not an investment. if you buy her something and expect something other than gratitude in return, then you're giving for all the wrong reasons. get over yourself....PS - you're a dumb ass for spending that kind of money on a woman.
john_bell 0
That is your opening to say looks like you're going to have to make it up in ways which cost no money, hmm think about that, that would probably be better than the butt plug she was planning to buy you.