Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
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Top comments
waffule365 16
Time to spice up the bedroom.
oj101 33
Perhaps you need to add more interesting things to your shopping list, if you know what I mean *mr bean face* ;)
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Comments (68)
pedinhuh 23
"It's a well known fact that women prefers *********** over felation" there's my tip for you.
djxerxes9000 18
and heres my tip for you ===D
ironichalibut 24
Poor Mption, always the target for ungrounded claims. Tragic, came to this country to escape prejudice, I assume. Oh wait, crap.
challan 19
Op, I'm curious to know if she was listing deodorant, toothpaste and soap? It might have been a request for next time.
challan 19
Definitely, but so is going to bed with your lover smelling like crotch rot.
AthiestNun 11
Clearly she has no ***** to give.
Ki11erC 18
Sounds very one sided. Active participation from both parties might lead things to not get boring...
anitah_fml 5
Well, to be fair, it could just mean she's so comfortable with you that sex doesn't have to be super erotic and sexy; that sex can be bonding, intimate. As long as this isn't every time you have sex, I wouldn't worry. I mean, me and my boyfriend could discuss todays dinner and how our day was while getting it on.
djxerxes9000 18
sex with you sounds....zzzzzz
anitah_fml 5
As I said, if it's every single time, you should start to worry. :P And that, it's not. Average people having sex isn't going to be like in a **** movie, with perfect settings, background music and makeup on your hoo-haah, is what I mean to say.
djxerxes9000 18
If my wife wanted to talk about dinner during sex I'd offer her some Tube Steak. Heck I'd get out the hairdryer and heat it up for her too!
perdix 31
"Ball gag, strap-on, anal beads, choke collar, Astroglide, D-batteries. . ."
martinfml 8
You're lucky she didn't play Call of Duty and had sex at the same time.
Pstraka6 20
That's never a good thing. Its time to spice it up a bit!
loserman67 36
OP: Oh Baby, you're awesome, you're so tight, this is fantastic... GF: Ummm yeah, you're good too... GF: Coffee, toilet paper, milk, eggs, fabric softner... OP: What? GF: Nothing Sweetie, you're rocking my world, keep pumping... GF: Hand soap, orange juice, larger condoms, guy with a bigger ****... OP: WHAT?
dont_doubt_me 29
OP is a woman (: