Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Misleading
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Reality check
Today, I finally turned 21, so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I ordered a drink. She replied, "No problem, kiddo." FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Cheers
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
Awww, my feefees
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Hitting it off
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Fishing
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML
Pleased to meet you
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Top comments
Jimboom 12
You tried to use a cheesy pickup line and you got shot down. Oh yea stud, FYL indeed.
danza_fml 0
This just made my day :)
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Comments (178)
secretish 0
#26...she sound hot? Just by saying "not you"? Wandering Idiot indeed. Anyhow, dude you got owned. Funny, funny stuff
Rodjmeister 0
Zing!
tempaccount 0
"Today, some random stranger valued their privacy. FML" ydi.
funsized4 0
I've seen this happen like, everyday...
Insert_Wit_Here 0
What's with the abnormal amount of FMLs today being like "Today, I tried to prove how awesome I am because I'm a douche, but it didn't work. FML"? Anyway, you deserved that. Try "Hi" and introducing yourself first next time, I hear it makes people feel, I dunno, more comfortable or something.
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
So what? You got rejected. Next time, maybe think about talking to her like a normal human being, as opposed to being a douche.
dumpweedx 0
#25: "It does make one wonder what she's doing there, though. " .. Do you not think it's possible that she just wanted to get out of the house, and have a drink? Rejected guy: It's cool that you have the balls to approach someone that's "very, very cute", but next time try being a little more respectful. Not everyone is interested in some random stranger and their pick-up lines. Your life isn't ******, just move on and find someone who's interested, dude. There still exists non-asshole girls out there.
Coffee_Kaioken 0
Tee hee. Good job, David DeAngelo.
playa101 0
you're going about this the entirely wrong way. Cute/hot girls know that they are cute/hot and will develop what I call a "bitch shield" so that boring guys would stop hitting on them. If she said that to me, I'd simply laugh and simile and say "good, you're already thinking about sex and I hardly said anything, but don't even think for a second that you're entitled to having that honor with me" in a playful manner. She won't know what hit her, and she'll most likely laugh and remove her "bitch shield" When it comes to girls like this, you got to be witty and never let them step all over you. However, I give you props for even trying unlike 99% of all other guys. Keep trying and good luck.
DeathMaple 3
he has discovered the bitch shield!!!
Ohnoitslindsay 0
UGH God you people are clueless. #25 is absolutely retarded. "she IS in a bar, what does she expect?" See, maybe it's just me, but when I go anywhere I expect common courtesy and respect. Unlike douche bags like the OP and apparently you, attractive girls do not go to bars to get hit on. I promise you, they can do better than bar scum, and they know that. So when you approach them as presumptuously and disrespectfully as the OP did, you forfeit any right to a sugarcoated rejection. Her response was exactly appropriate in relation to the approach. Exactly. and #42, what you so cleverly dubbed as a "bitch shield" is in fact simple annoyance at being instantly reduced to a ****** to put your penis in. And a response like the one you suggested will only (rightfully) aggravate that. You would be lucky if she did not slap you, but any self respecting woman would at least walk away and inform other women in the bar of what a prick you are. Now try to keep this in mind in your future pursuits, there is absolutely nothing attractive about being an asshole. Nothing at all. I would suggest next time you try expressing actual interest in her as a human being, entirely unrelated to her physical appearance. This girl is not even remotely a bitch. When you approach someone like a douche bag, you're going to get rejected like one. Stop crying about it and grow up. YDI.