Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I finally turned 21, so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I ordered a drink. She replied, "No problem, kiddo." FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jimboom 12
You tried to use a cheesy pickup line and you got shot down. Oh yea stud, FYL indeed.
danza_fml 0
This just made my day :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
Iloveblackmen 0
wow lol, i think #43 is right, but she is defffinnettly on her period.
Carribu 0
#s 20, 25, and 130 - I highly doubt she's having a bad day, hates guys, or on her period. FYI, there are a ton of guys out there who don't back down after their pick up lines. So maybe it was rude, but you have to be careful around any guy using a pick up line.
kynhk 0
ouch, but you did it all wrong
speedney 0
Why not just reply back.. "I'd hope you weren't planning on having sex on the first date, because i certainly wasn't. What else are you doing on Friday?"
skittlesxmonster 5
haha OWNED XD
playful2088 0
umm ouch. lol.
swagmonkey 0
Come now, a LITTLE introduction before you ask out a stranger wouldn't kill you, would it? Try having a conversation before using the pickup line...
24788 7
Just go onto the next one.
24788 7
Say next in your head and keep going for the next one.
hank9300 0
So who cares. People get rejected all the time. Law of numbers. Keep trying until you hit one that's either blind or drunk.