Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I finally turned 21, so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I ordered a drink. She replied, "No problem, kiddo." FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
You tried to use a cheesy pickup line and you got shot down. Oh yea stud, FYL indeed.
danza_fml 0
This just made my day :)
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Comments (178)
evilmatty93 0
MAJORLY OWNED!!!
absolutezero1287 0
So what? That happens all the time. I know a guy that goes to clubs and wanders from chick to chick asking if they wanna ****. I don't go to clubs because I dislike the atmosphere. You wait in a long ass line and you have to dress a certain way, then when you wanna get a beer its like $7. Guys have to be 21+ to get in but chicks can get in if they're 18+. **** clubs. Go to bars.
iSmellNice 2
That line was in Fired Up
DenElite 0
Rofl that was THE BEST comeback to that line ever
youre_all_idiots 0
hahaha she wins.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...Every long lost dream led me to where you are Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars Pointing me on my way into your loving arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you..."
Badboy6 5
Man that sux dude
terriibabiiix23 0
hahaha, dude you just got OWNED.
campbellshayla73 0
oh burn!!
tiftif567 0
girl-1 boy-0 but that's howbits always Been with guys and there cheesy pick up lines unless the girl is super desparte