Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML
Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML
Today, I was having a chuckle at the girl who used to torment me since she’s on her fourth marriage. Then I realized she’s gotten four handsome, rich men to marry her, while I’m still hopelessly single and haven’t had a boyfriend since high school. FML
Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still available. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML
Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Today, my crush, who has turned me down in the past, actually gave me the “Why can’t I find a decent guy like you?” speech. That’s it, I’m officially THAT guy, I’m just that pathetic. I’d happily never see her again after this, except we live on the same street and work in the same building. FML
Today, I realized I have two guys interested in me. One is a boring lump who has a good job and takes me to nice places, and the other is a hilarious hot sexy goofball who can't hold down a job and shamelessly mooches off me. FML
Today, I was feeling bitter about the ballyhoo surrounding Valentine’s Day. I made a status on Facebook saying the holiday was stupid. Someone commented, “You’re only saying that because you can’t get a boyfriend to save your life and haven’t been laid in years because you’re obese.” They’re right. I cried. FML
Today, my best friend, who reckons I'm doing a terrible job at finding a boyfriend, has started giving out my number to all the men she thinks "look trustworthy" in the subway. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her Facebook status said, "Pointless day, gone to bed." FML
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Top comments
teentee401 37
Wouldn't you rather curl up on the couch alone, binge eating discounted snacks and binge watching Netflix, instead of wasting time with a boyfriend? I know I would.
JesusOfNazareth 16
Keep your head up. There's somebody for you.
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Comments (108)
JesusOfNazareth 16
Keep your head up. There's somebody for you.
shudson186 17
I agree with #1 you will find the one OP. Do not give up, but also be cheerful for your friend. :)
BSnapZ 21
Jesus has spoken.
Demig0d6 14
Jesus has risen.
cryssycakesx3 23
OP needs a coupon for a man.
kuwar 7
u r right !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lnheritance 19
There's always eharmony, I hear great things about that! I agree with #1 though!!
teentee401 37
Wouldn't you rather curl up on the couch alone, binge eating discounted snacks and binge watching Netflix, instead of wasting time with a boyfriend? I know I would.
MrConcise 35
I'd rather do all of that with a boyfriend, and I'm straight. Maybe I seem a little less so after this comment, but **** I love cuddling, Netflix, and junk food!
zBLAKEz 23
Yeah I think all of that stuff is great to do, but it's better to do with someone.
MrConcise 35
@15 - Hit me up later, babycakes. ;) No ****.
Rainhawk94 27
Getting hit on by a pair of cats is great
Lebeaugars95 20
@20 you don't like pussy?
MrConcise 35
@20 - The most relevant part being that they're cuddling, strengthening my first comment.
cynicalsatireman 12
Nice you told an unoriginal joke about women's stereotypes, maybe next time tell a a joke about chocolate. Remember it's alright to joke about yourself as long as no one different does.
teentee401 37
Who are you talking to, 38?
Crazc 15
I'd rather binge ****
Rainhawk94 27
#23 hey I said it was great lol
incoherentrmblr 22
#53, you mean a marathon?...
Gotenks483 5
You'll find someone eventually. In the meantime, at least you're saving money!
sweetest_jenn 18
Life doesn't revolve around men/women. On the other hand, couponing is a very useful skill to have. I think you should be proud, OP.
kuwar 7
yup proud proud proud and just proud
cheshireau 26
that's true but also, nobody likes a bragger.
what12345 12
Sometimes coupons are better than guys, anyway. I'm sure you'll find someone though. (: stay positive
MSCCG 16
I am a guy and I can confirm that indeed a lot of coupons are better than me. Like two for one burgers.
Zebediabolical 45
Any coupon that mentions tacos is way better than I am.
zandalee 20
Coupons don't hog the duvet, or fart in bed! : - )
popprock 13
What do you mean sometimes?! ALWAYS!!!!
EndOfSekrets 13
Hey! A lot of coupons save money! A lot of men is just complicated.
gemstone586 12
I vote this as best comment yet. :)
Morning_fml 22
Don't worry, your time will come. You don't need every man to fall for you, you just need the right one. Quality over quantity!
91hayek 31
I think OP is more a quantity over quality girl with all her couponing.
saucyrossi 18
Maybe she has coupons for boyfriends
thatkidmal 15
Coupons are our friends
mutantproudish 16
Sounds like she's the one getting whos 'checked out'
crushcrusher 33
enjoy your life being single coz the one intended for you will arrive at the right time