Today, my father yelled at me for changing one of his two programmable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, #1 is for sober driving and #2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
A lot of people drive drunk because their judgement is ****** when they're drunk. Clearly your dad plans to do it, even beforehand - seems like he's quite a retard.
Boddmon 0
Everyone is different, I know a lot of people who claim that it's easier to drive when high because you can focus however it's just as easy to become focused on something else while you're driving. I could be "high as balls" too and then suddenly notice a very appealing billboard for Twinkies and begin thinking about them. "mmm Twinkies" *crashes car*
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Comments (109)
gordanfreeman 0
your dad is a dick sorry but its true
geovanni 9
omg report him to the police!!!
Green_Eyes_Pwn 0
I don't know about anyone else, but how is this an fml? if anything it should be a mlia. just saying.
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
ur dad is a bastardo
Kush1994 0
you're right. driving high is not cool or funny, but just plain fun. and you don't know how drunk his dad is when he drives. it's possible for some people to be very careful with a slight head change, although not a good idea after you've been drinking. and you don't know he drives completely hammered
dhaworth93 8
that guy has his shit down pat lol gotta love rednecks:)
lmichelle1211 13
For all you people that think it's cool to drink & I drive. I watched a couple that was driving to the hospital to go have their baby get hit by a drunk driver and almost lose their child and life's. The guy is in jail right now for serious bodily injury & dui. Completely changed my mind about getting into a car after drinking or with somebody else who's been drinking.
Ikaika Mossman 2
tell him I said he's a number nut