Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, my cat ate the dog's food and is now very sick. For the third time. The first time he did it, I was concerned; second time, I was confused. Now I realize he's just an idiot. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
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Top comments
ariverperson 11
the cats food is kept on the dining room table? ew...
Bob_Cat_fml 14
Genius enough to understand that you can be tricked every day the same way …
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Comments (68)
btz1231 3
here's a d*** idea move the food!!!!
KawiRacer69 5
Mabye "smart" can be used?
purduepitney 10
Sounds like your the genius. Putting the cat food in the same place expecting different results.
mau5_17 0
Lmaoooo ur comeback was genius and very true
Enslaved 38
Every night? Your dog sounds like a genius compared to you. Move the cat food to another spot so he can't get to it. :P
PsychoBitch666 8
"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results" Well, you're definitely not the genius in this story.
Duceswild99 19
So your dog works for Apple?
beautycrush495 10
Seeing as though this situation is not sanitary at all... I hope you don't eat off that table
chellyX92 8
I was thinking the same. Cats walk in where they poop and pee. Dogs do the same. This FML made me cringe a bit, but that's just me.
allforus 5
I gagged a little, too. Or a lot.
ballpython 15
next time leave the dog up there. when he figures out he is stuck he will reconsider doing it again.
daringtoride 27
But then he could hurt himself trying to get down. As annoying as it might be, I would prefer to help my dog down rather than pay a vet bill for a broken leg or something :P This sounds like something my dog would do, even though he's quite smart (and shows it everyday.) They just have really dumb moments, like humans!
Spazz420 7
Tonight when he jumps on the table, take the food off the table and put it on the floor. Leave him up there whining. Your dog is playing u
ballpython 15
I keep my cat's food on top of the dryer in the laundry room.
JoeGrant 12
He should have google'd it.