Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, it's my daughter’s 18th birthday. Today is also the day that my husband told me he’s leaving me for her, and he wants a divorce. When I threatened to press charges for potentially grooming her as a minor, he told me I don’t have a leg to stand on because, “She’s been at the age of consent anyway.” FML
Today, my daughter turned up at my house because her boyfriend kicked her out. I rang him and it turns out his love and affection and even the time he spent getting to know her kids wasn’t enough for her, my daughter just had to throw it all away by sucking her coworker's dick in her boyfriend's bed. FML
Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML
Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML
Today, I found out my mom can't wait until I turn 18, so she can kick me out and turn my room into a huge closet for all her clothes. FML
Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
in my bed, on your bed, on the kitchen table, In the washing machine, in the sink, In your shower, on the stairs...
california283 6
a rude awakening for what? a rude awakening for actually CARING about you? my parents are overprotective too but it's for my own good. at least they care enough to protect you. some parents don't care about their kids at all..
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Comments (361)
i_Tanya 3
That's hilarious and I approve 100%. My parent's didn't let me have sex in high school so I went to college and lost it after a month and I've been with that guy for 7 months now. Helicopter parents only hurt their children, there has to be a happy medium.
textwork 4
you should have sex with your husband in her bed next time she leaves the house
daeemann 1
Ha ha. It's great being a guy. When I was a teenager, I could wear whatever I wanted. No one was going to judge me based on my clothes. No one was going to call me a ****, ha ha ha. When I a guy turns 16, he's encouraged to have girlfriends, to respect them, but it's ok to be intimate with them. Ahh...double standards...don't you just love them.
austen130 0
GENIUS !! I'm going to do that:D
Supervisor 2
So... Around 13400 people are teenagers/angry children, eh. You can never be too protective, unless you were to lock your child in a basement and refuse him/her to go outside... Then MAYBE you would be too overprotective. She's 18, though, right? So, tell her that if she wants to act like an adult that she can do it outside of your house. Anyways, sucks man. Even though I'm 18 I would not be that cruel, let alone reveal that information to my parents.
jadenwashere 0
im soo gonna do that to my dad haha classic!
KillCupido 0
What else did you expect?
Alfonsooo 0
When I turn 18 I was actually planning on doingthe same thing
sneek_fml 1
wining!!!!
Rickie16 0
Be glad toe not my mom! I have sex on her bed