Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML
Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."
chrstygrl06 10
LEAVE THE TREE ALONE!!
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Comments (124)
houmboy 0
telegraph pole? o.o I would've swore we started using telephones....
BirdIzDuhWord 0
Hmm. Is she blonde?
MadieGlambert36 0
How is this an fml moment??
ayooBrandon 12
She grts her brains from her mother
ooooooooooooh 4
or you
bunnyhop77 0
when I was a kid I thought they were trees
tayyters 4
kid not 16. well i hope at least
vettle 6
haha it's like Phoebe and trying to save all the dead Christmas trees so they can fulfill their Christmas destiny. whatever some people are just quirky!
MatthewDmerrill 5
pole dance probly
DalekScythe 0
daddy why does that tree have wires?
SteelCladAngel 0
op probably shouldn't tell the daughter where pencils, toothpicks, wood for furniture, paper, tp, papertowels, cardboard...... yea anyway op shouldn't tell the daughter where all that stuff comes from and if she's that dumb she probably shouldn't be told where hamburger, drumsticks and bacon come from
Salvikidd 6
is she a blonde?