Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said, "There's my daughter…" He then turned it to me and said "…and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML
Today, my dad learned a new way to annoy the family. Since watching some Twitch streamers that one time, he refers us as "chat." As in, "Chat, what should we have for dinner?" or "Hey chat, check out my fit. Yay or nay?" or even, "Chat, is that true?" FML
Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 minutes of him describing how beautiful she is, how much we look alike, and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML
Today, my dad casually mentioned my half-sister in conversation. He had her out of wedlock when he was only 13. NEWS TO ME, HE'S NEVER MENTIONED I HAVE A HALF-SISTER BEFORE AND I'M FREAKING 22 YEARS-OLD. Apparently he and mom thought I knew, and just forgot to tell me. FML
Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
Whatever, Chelsea. You won't fool me!
littlemonster94 15
This is when you do something really bad, and blame Chelsea.. "No dad, it was Chelsea!" *points sheepishly at unsuspecting sister*
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Comments (81)
laaryssa 21
I know whose not getting a gift on Father's Day
egggoop 3
Don't be offended, this is actually a semi-rare psychological disorder called prosopagnosia, also called face blindness. It makes it impossible to correlate peoples' identities and their faces. Sometimes they can't even recognize their children or themselves in the mirror. A lot of people don't even know they have it.
fantasyworld 39
He could have face-blindness.
oops6663 26
My dad does the same, except he'll call me by one of my brothers names. Sometimes by my sisters name.