Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

Double header

Today, I drove to return a PC that my former company lent me to work at home, because I quit that job so won't be working there anymore. On my way to the office, I was robbed of both my car and the computer. FML

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

Gotta keep those data centers irrigated

Today, my house was broken into and my computer was stolen. Fortunately, I have cloud backups of all my work; unfortunately, hardware prices have gone through the roof and I won't be able to replace that computer soon. FML

Flu season

Today, without any warning, I projectile vomited all over my laptop. I think I broke my computer. FML

Priorities

Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it - and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML

Today, my mom borrowed my computer without my permission and downloaded a virus. I came home to a blue screen of death. She refuses to admit fault and pay for a new computer. FML