Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I was given my Covid-19 test results after a friend and I went to take one. I had been sneezing and having fevers lately, and out of solidarity, my friend also took the test to give me the courage to do so. I tested negative, but my friend didn't. FML
Today, I finally came out to my parents and admitted that I’m HIV positive. Instead of being supportive, they made me call up all of my childhood friends and tell them to get tested. Playing at the park isn’t how it transmits, Mum and Dad… FML
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML
Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML
Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have AIDS?" FML
Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML
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Top comments
RavagedSoul 0
Think positive = You got it Think negative = Don't get your hopes up Ye either way nothing should have been said. Silence is golden.
DocBastard 40
I have a feeling that you're the same person who says "You too!" to the check-in person at the airport when she tells you to "Have a nice flight".
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Comments (115)
nick347b 6
I would have remained neutral on that one.
noel_ani 0
Haha he knows you meant well(:
perdix 31
Nice extension. You know a lot of pervs hang out here. Just sayin'.
loopsy_fml 14
Or does he...
noel_ani 0
Haha he knows you meant well(:
noel_ani 0
Haha he knows you meant well(:
noel_ani 0
Haha he knows you meant well(:
13FTW 9
Next time, please try not to rape the send button.
Travis1001 15
In this case a simple man-answer would have sufficed, like 'k' or 'cool'. Gotta keep it short, any suggestions for OP, people?
Torva_fml 16
What were the results?
Badab1ng 5
Same thing I said to my partners in this raging threesome... Oh wait that doesn't relate. Oh well
leadman1989 16
If he has it IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! Joking, but you definitely called it.
Jamberr 5
Ha!
Strafeh 9
Beautiful...