Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, after sacrificing multiple weekends to help my kid brother with his various projects, I asked him to help me with one of mine. He nearly blew up at the thought of losing an evening of his free time on a simple task, so I postponed it to later, which means never. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If he asks for your help to find a place to hide a dead body, for God's sake, DON'T HELP HIM!
tygerarmy 35
Nothing like the love a sibling.
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Comments (87)
flashback_fml 14
What kind of idiot couldn't figure that out
rosenkrieger223 24
OP's brother, apparently.
Edumcg 24
Maybe he knew how to block someone but wanted OP to know he was going to block someone so OP would be curious about who he was going to block just to find out it was OP :)
JMichael 26
Take a video of him singing in the shower and post it on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter.
weveallbeenthere 30
good one. now go back into his account and open it for everyone to see. ( put pictures of kittens and rainbows all over his page.)
kumarina 35
Your brother is an ass, sorry OP
rmrzmn 8
.
skyeyez9 25
Wtf is up with all the downvotes on 95% of the comments?!
skipper2009 18
Everyone must be in a bad mood today.
xMykiss 11
I giggled at that but it must be true
pussymonster_xx 8
You should've figured, especially if he's younger than you or close I'm age. I have my brother blocked cause i think he'd snitch on what i do. Still, ydi.
mikbrooke 25
if you think your brother would snitch on what you are doing, you probably shouldnt be doing it. or at the very least, not posting it in a public forum.
Axel5238 29
Don't know how this isn't pretty common knowledge by now, but people gotta stop posting certain things on social media drunk pictures, pictures of pot, half naked photos, how much of a mess you were that weekend ect... It can get you in trouble, and employers will search you and if they find a photo album of drunk pictures or a ton of stuff related to 420 and other dumb stuff you aren't gonna get hired. Also more than likely that stuff will get passed around and come back to bite you. An entire generation growing up having grown up never knowing a time with out the internet still doesn't realize you can be held accountable for what you put post.
aznpeaks 7
Given your acc name, i would think you would post some inappropriate stuff on FB. I agree with #72 and #79.
G_bear24 9
Its ok my brother unfriended me.
Fr0gs 15
Mom! I got outplayed (lol reference$$)
sarahbevan20 11
Sorry OP, I wouldn't have seen that one coming either, especially from my brother. FYL. :(