Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML
Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML
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Top comments
clair_brodie 35
I am more curious as to why you were barefoot.
ohsnapword 21
Ah the old saying still holds true. You gotta give head to get ahead.
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Comments (26)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for messing around at work. And I'm sure you get favoritism, too.
thelittlem 15
aww what's the matter? are you treated unfairly at work?
Envy22 32
YDI. You shouldn’t be messing around at work.
PenguinPal3017 19
Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
protoskore 27
sounds a bit like a story from nifty.org ...
Angcrad 17
That blows
wmayrhofer 18
Sex drive interference with work is a symptom of sex addiction. Whoever keeps initiating this at work needs to see a specialist before he loses his job.
fjvitt 14
Maybe if your boyfriend has a pacifier to put in his mouth then you wouldn’t run into these problems...
JayThrntn 9
I take it this was a couple gay dudes or you mis spoke.
Takegami 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Next time, don’t be gay
Doug Ggg 3
Do you know what FML means? "I got a ******* and had to walk back to my desk in barefeet" is not FML.