Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
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Top comments
B0NER 2
Must have good boobies
rayrayray23 1
Best solution: Go to Narnia.
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Comments (291)
montesjose1 1
I think that you might want to get the F@#< away from him. Run b!-(# run!!!!
Joshawott 21
So what shouldn't you do?
Ashhole_1 0
I've been told the exact same thing before
Krazygye 0
phsyco much?
LilToonchiii 0
shouldn't you be the one telling him that?
A_Person_FML 6
I fail to see the problem here. The only reason this could be an FML is if you did cheat. But then you would deserve it.
TomPusslicker 21
...i think its the mentality behind the statement... we dont know if the concern for cheating is warranted, but 'normal' ppl break up with someone whos cheated on them, sure they might be sad about it, but they don't chop someone up over it...or maybe im the one that's abnormal.
alliteen 3
why fml? just take the compliment!
Giocoso 4
o-kay. thats. weird....
nube_negra86 2
Um, is that supposed to be 'romantic'? He's a chauvinistic pig, get rid of him!
bitchy_bitch 0
thats psycho..