Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying that last night was awesome. When I said, "What do you mean?" he answered, "Come on Jess, I bet you can't stand straight." My name is Britney, but my friend's name is Jessica. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML
Today, during my boyfriend's birthday dinner, his father shouted, “Jessica, can you slice me a piece too?” My name isn’t Jessica and I’ve been in their family for over two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, saying, "Hi." His response was, "I got your best friend pregnant." FML
Today, I got to wake up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "U got competition." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I am still in love with, sent me a text message that said, "I miss you, baby." It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML
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Top comments
ragnarok1540 39
At least he didn't sleep with your father, Stephen ...
DanielleinDC 34
I'd love to hear his explanation for this.
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Comments (21)
HoboMeth 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's what you get for dating your brother
sweetbliss3 37
I'm sorry, what? I'm all for reading between the lines but I got nothing like what you got.
Ih8teenageangst 20
here it is sweetbliss: Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to ******, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
Ih8teenageangst 20
YYYEEEESSSSSS! I got excited when I read this one because of the names and planning to post on it but you beat me!
jediloader 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Time to go visit his best friend I’d say
Tripartita 45
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow, that really sucks. Imagine being kept up so late that you text the wrong person the next morning! I think I speak for most of us here when I say that I feel bad for your poor partner—clearly the empathic character in this situation. Be sure to let ‘em rest!
Lobby_Bee 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Jess doesn't necessarily mean it's your friend Jessica. Jess could mean your friend Jessie.
bartsj1988 7
In what way does that change the situation?
DanielleinDC 34
I'd love to hear his explanation for this.
ragnarok1540 39
At least he didn't sleep with your father, Stephen ...
Fanawak 8
EPIC!!
really_dad? 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Question him. Go through all of his belongings. Steal his phone and go though it. Stalk him on all social media. Just when you think you've gone too far, kill him
StarkWolf_fml 23
you need better friends.
ffc Squall 14
If you're a true Hufflepuff, you'll forgive and forget. If you're smart, you'll just forget both of them.
LEbleuDESreves 10
a confrontation is needed ... and a cleanup too ?