Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML
Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, it was mine and my fiancé's 4 year anniversary. What did he get me? Nothing, but I did find out he's been cheating on me with multiple women. Guess I’m back to 0 years. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML
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Top comments
Sourcandy86 0
Send him anthrax
aback 5
Your anniversary gift was him letting you know he's not worth wasting any more of your life over.
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Comments (75)
DrunkenValor 0
YDI for not being polyamarous.
voveraite 7
Failing troll can't spell. /end grammar Nazi
aback 5
Your anniversary gift was him letting you know he's not worth wasting any more of your life over.
plexico 4
Damn him for forgetting your anniversary! It should be so easy because is it a week before the anniversary of when he started ******* your sister. Dummy.
Intoxicunt 6
Lol. By the way, the "plexico, have my babies" club has three members! Hahahaha. Just thought you should know! :-D
plexico 4
That's good to know because I was just trying to auction off my testicles on eBay. I just cancel that then.
Intoxicunt 6
Oh... I thought you said your wife owned those? Coat them in fake gold and up the price.
plexico 4
She does but she hardly uses them. They were just taking up space so I was thinking of getting rid of them. They are now tingling with the prospect of being used for their intended purpose instead of being sold to fund my next iPod.
Intoxicunt 6
Well, I'm glad to know I have been a part of the cause of your balls tingling. If she's barely going to use them, someone else is going to have to pick up the slack! Although, if I were you, I'd prefer the iPod.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
yah, so that when they start dating, he can cheat on her with someone else...and if he has a brother, consider doin it with him before you break up, if you havent already.
ozymandias_fml 0
how do you have an anniversary if you are only dating?
whistlestop 0
they've been dating for three years, i think they can have anniversaries, seeing as the date they started dating returns every year
ozymandias_fml 0
People keep track of shit like that? Is it the day you met? the day you asked them out on the first date (before you were going out?) when you asked them out? the first date after you became a couple?
someone2love 0
My fiancee and I remember the day we met, the day we became an item, and the day he proposed. He tells me every month on the day we became 'official' HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. Some guys just don't know what it takes to please a typical woman ;) and some women don't realize that not every man is going to give them exactly what they want!! I'm the lucky one!
someone2love 0
My fiancee and I remember the day we met, the day we became an item, and the day he proposed. He tells me every month on the day we became 'official' HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. Some guys just don't know what it takes to please a typical woman ;) and some women don't realize that not every man is going to give them exactly what they want!! I'm the lucky one!
ozymandias_fml 0
That actually sounds disturbing. My wife and I dated 6 years before we got married, and the best we ever could guess was we started dating in a November.. We went out a few times before that, and met each other a few years and were friends pretty much the whole time. I can't imagine remembering all these minor dates. I have better things to use brain-power for.
Puolukka 4
I'm just as disturbing then ;) I met my husband May 12th 2006, started dating him May 30th 2006, we moved in together in December 2006, he proposed on August 22nd, 2007, and we got married on March 28th, 2008 :P I don't even have it written down, I just know...however I don't care if he does though except for the actual wedding anniversary and an estimate of how many years we've been together, but not the exact date for that.*lol*
shamille 5
looks like 3 strikes and heee's out.
dc18_fml 0
EWW! What an ass! Dump him! and kick your sisters ass!! I'm sorry though. If he doesnt remember your aniversery he's screwed up anyways
plexico 4
So when you get married, is your sister going to be the Made of Honor?
plexico 4
I purposely misspelled "Maid" as "Made" because it is a slang term meaning "had sex with." Too obscure?
RibbaNibba 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
jessxoxo28 5
dump his ass