Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tzemmy 25
Did he say yes?
HyperTek 16
What's the problem this shit is hilarious. :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
L3G3ND4RYB4D4SS 6
What in the actual ****
Bekll 31
Is he Really Really Big Man of Rocko's Modern Life?
James8467 5
Well did he do it?
ThreeSheets 14
That's too funny, parents are my age and we grew up with Steve Martin and George Carlin. We are with it.
joethebro98 13
Honestly can say, I have no idea how to respond to this
LyricaSilvan 30
I would have been a little embarrassed, but I would have laughed while asking my dad "what the hell, dad?" Sounds like your father has a sense of humor, OP. And at least it's better he say something weird in attempt to help your boyfriend out than to disapprove and tell you he doesn't like your choice of man.
sanuxo_ 22
I don't know why I imagined it in Ron Swansons voice.
GabbyPLluch88 13
your dad is the man!. that was hilarious ?
jlujan00_fml 9
This is the sort of parent I aspire to be
slynoble32 11
it's tittyboomboom man, she has the nipples of knowledge too