Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
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Top comments
tzemmy 25
Did he say yes?
HyperTek 16
What's the problem this shit is hilarious. :D
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Comments (57)
Ilayda_fml 12
Your Name ?
brick0 11
Well, did he? Its just rude if you dont.
coltmerriman 15
Beats eating your dad's ass...
dhiran_singh 16
It's the advance formula xD
hobbiecat16 4
Hoppefully, it was said by your dad and not your Mom.
NYGiants1925 22
And what did he say to that?
gratunka 11
your dad must be a fan of the movie 'meet the parents '.
_ravens_ 11
I would be much more comfortable with that than a dad that sits me down and gives me the whole lecture and looks at me like I'm going to impregnate his daughter
zefronke8 25
Hey, at least he didn't say "fondle my **** of knowledge"
Love_L0ST 13
This is funny not an FML! If I was the boyfriend I would have died laughing!