Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he could predict my periods because he keeps track of when I'm at my bitchiest each month. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so accurate. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML
Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
And he could be the Amazing Single Asshole. His superpower is making stupid statements and getting dumped SUPER fast!
NoFeet 4
Tell him he can be Super Undersized Penis Man
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Comments (119)
captainburke 5
I wonder what your powers would be :/
TehParteh 9
Being a bitch.
FML_14u2c 14
What is his superpower, having a tiny penis and being a minute-man? Hell, if he were a transformer, he'd be Masturbatron!
jenniiienyc 5
Why do(some)boyfriends seem to think its okay to insult their girlfriends?! You guys weren't even fighting and he sneaks in "bitch."
DocBastard 40
Because some guys are assholes, plain and simple. I think the bigger problem is the women that stay with them, because all that does is teach them that they can say this crap and get away with it.
jenniiienyc 5
Amen, Doc.
Driveshaft 5
This just in...Teens and crotchety doctors can't see the difference between good natured humor and insults...
ellytoad 13
Insults and humor aren't mutually exclusive, you know.
outoftown 27
#74, But clever and degrading should be.
gribbles 12
This just in, you're not a news anchor and your jokes suck.
Codezlol 21
It's a 2 way street. Why do (some) girlfriends treat guys like dirt? *shrugs* who knows.
hellryu 20
If OP's boyfriend was joking then I see no problem with it and I don't think her boyfriend is an asshole. Just that OP can't take her boyfriends humor and he should tone it down. My girlfriend and I joke around like that and neither one of us consider each other assholes. We also don't go around calling each other those types of names while we do argue (bitch, asshole, etc.).
jenniiienyc 5
I guess I just think there are better ways to show "humor" or "kid around". Like call each other goofball or silly willy vanilly. "Bitch" doesn't seem cute or funny to me.
rockurheart 9
sounds exciting Haha;D
PandaCamiBear 4
Totally! xD
TheDrudgeChild 4
I picture something more like Skarlet from Mortal Kombat - angry, half naked, bitchy, and covered in blood. Actually, that's pretty gross.
eirianna 0
Tell him he is wedgie boy captain underpants' pain in the ass side kick... Yeah that's all I got
eirianna 0
If you don't remember captain underpants you didn't have a childhood
vintage3113 6
You deserve it for being a bitch. That is, unless he's a total asshole. In that case, y'all will make a killer combo
hellachillin 8
No no no that would be The Periods sidekick. The Mighty Absorber
delicious69 5
If you are a bitch own that shit. I hate girls who are all bitchy and are like I'm all nice and perfect. Just for posting this I'm sure your a raging nagging ass chick.
eggmarie 25
So I'm assuming you're single, yeah?
Psych101 9
Guys, hold on, 26 may be on to something. Oh sorry, I meant the pancakes thing on your profile, not your comment. That was just stupid.
blahblahblah5_x 13
Well that's a nice thing for your boyfriend to say to you.. :S