Today, while giving my final speech, a bump that had been growing on my arm popped. Pus leaked through my white dress sleeve, and it smelled like death. Everyone noticed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was giving a speech at my best friend’s wedding. Mid-speech, I felt something was off. I looked down and realized I had a huge stain on my trousers. Not just a small stain, but a whole wet patch from crotch to knee. I had to finish the speech with one hand covering it. I later sniffed it, it was only champagne, but still… FML
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML
Today, I gave a presentation for my final on class. While I was giving the speech my shirt strap broke. I ended up flashing everyone including the teacher. At least I got an A. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress, the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger, but squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML
Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML
Today, I gave a toast at my close friend's wedding. The bride's little cousin snuck up behind me and unzipped my dress. As I ended my speech with, "To a night we will never forget!", my dress fell all the way down. I was quick. People's phones were quicker. Well, they won't forget my undies. FML
Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML
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Top comments
MissEris 27
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe next time check with a doctor to get it removed beforehand or try popping it at home. :/
Adam_Power58 16
Sorry Op , that seems like the worst thing that could happen! Hopefully not everyone noticed what actually happened or you can blame something else
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Comments (60)
Symantha23 25
Awe that sucks OP!! But hey!! It could have been worse!
tormcn 26
That doesn't make it better.
eliwitt 9
I hope you get a bump up on your grade op
clintml11 13
Sorry OP, that's embarrassing! On the bright side, now that you're done with that class you might not see any of those people again!
MissEris 27
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe next time check with a doctor to get it removed beforehand or try popping it at home. :/
sierrajo09 24
it could have been an abscess. they can form anywhere and when they pop, they pus. please do not try to pop it yourself because it can cause an infection. I have had one before that turned into a fistula (I have Crohn's disease). next time go to the doctor and get it checked out! :)
HeartYou101 31
She could pop capillaries in her arm if she tried doing it herself and they often don't disappear easily..The doctor is the best call or finding a suitable ointment to treat it...
Guy1009 15
You had a what?! And it was caused by Crohn's Disease?! I ask because I also have Crohn's.
sierrajo09 24
#29 I have a fistula...an abnormal connection between two organs that forms a "tunnel". it usually starts with signs of an abscess and fever. just look it up and it will explain more.
Adam_Power58 16
Sorry Op , that seems like the worst thing that could happen! Hopefully not everyone noticed what actually happened or you can blame something else
enginsteve 17
Honestly, that really doesn't sound too good..
amileah13 26
Oh my goodness how mortifying! Is everything okay?
Lilo4life 26
I'm sure it was more obvious to you than anyone else, but next time go to the Dr before it reaches that point.
91hayek 31
Final speech? Were they going to execute you? In that case smelling like death wouldn't be so bad. Kinda sets the mood.
lysx84 24
Sorry OP, I do agree this sucks but there is so much you could've done to avoid this situation - YDI
Tyrez 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Kinda feel the same way. Since FML is about taking everything out of context we never truly know if what happens to someone is their fault or if they do it. Op could have terrible hygiene and has never been to the doctor even though that bump has been growing for the last five years.
ScruffyMcHaggis 6
if I could unlike this comment more, I would.
lysx84 24
Oh come on. Could've had it removed, didn't have to wear a white dress, could've put a dressing on it for the evening... This could have been prevented.