Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
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Top comments
justmethough 8
Is it just me or did the word "diddlestick" make everyone's day?
Feared 9
Fiddle with his diddlestick, and he didn't forgive?... Aw fiddlesticks :(
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Comments (86)
BD_Swingin 0
The names people come up with..
Angelina93 6
diddlestick? Haha!
meggieeee51 9
He should have cleaned up and got back in the game.
Llamacod 11
Exactly!
srs328 6
I think people need to stfu about these dumb words for a dick. diddlestick seriously is OP high?
fourthfloor 3
I have always found amusing that guys refer to their penis with names, maybe "diddlestick" is pet name the OP and her boyfriend have for the 'it". And I am not sure why both men and women called female's genitalia a ******, ever heard of the word " vulva"? The ****** is inside the body, yet apparently it can be seen, licked, scratched, told what it looks like...etc, almost as weird as "didlesticks". I understand maybe hitting someone accidently during sex, but a black eye and a bloody nose? You must like it really rough OP!! Or did you punch him in the face? Men get abused by their partners too, you know.
Localex_fml 1
I LOL'ed super hard when I read diddlestick
Maxon_fml 4
Lol 38
MargaretColleen 8
Diddlestick.
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
The fact that you used the term 'diddlestick' worries me....
sXeMetal 0
Wimp. Happens to me ALL the time.