Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML
Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year-old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML
Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked my dad why he gave me the nickname "Bear," which he has called me since I was very little. My dad responded, "Because she has a hairy back." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML
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Top comments
eeejit0102 0
#5, stretchmarks don't occur just because she's "let herself go" - don't be so insensitive. girls naturally get curvier (hips, breasts) during puberty and it can take a few years after puberty is done for them to TOTALLY disappear. they don't need to be reddish - often when they're old they're skin-colored and not as easy to detect. don't be such a prick.
OhHai 0
Ouch...........
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Comments (106)
pookie13 0
what a dick. dump the jerk
dmoneycivicsi 0
haha, he might have been joking around. yeah its mean but its possible that he didnt mean for it to be truly hurtful.
AwesomeSauce 0
I happen to find zebras VERY attractive.
calvin_williams 0
HAHAHAHA I made an account, and took the time to validate it, just because this was soo funny. I feel terribly bad for you, but this is also the only FML that has made me laugh out loud. Im going to do the same to my girlfriend as a joke. (dont worry im always nice)
lady_L18 0
*eyes widen to the size of saucers* That's a burn!
Pandarsenic 0
His kindness is matched only by his tact.
youfoundmee 0
thatsss sooo efffing mean. lmao. dudee i would kickk his ass
piderman13 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THATS SO ******* FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Becca_Alvarez 9
Lol :D
piderman13 0
o and #17 you kick ass!!! girls need to settle the **** down and just laugh.. dig the sand out of your vag and giggle a bit
rocket9 0
why must people have to joke about everything