Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years almost broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did everyone else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML
Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in about 5 years. She had her 4-year-old son with her. I couldn’t help but notice her son looked almost identical to mine. He even had a very distinct facial feature that my husband has as well. What are the odds all three of them have the same defect? FML
Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
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Top comments
jizzwold 21
You cheated on your boyfriend with a potato?
wantmeasandwich 26
Not just any potato. An old, wrinkly one. Shame! I hope you can talk your way out of this one, OP.
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Comments (217)
jizzwold 21
You cheated on your boyfriend with a potato?
wantmeasandwich 26
Not just any potato. An old, wrinkly one. Shame! I hope you can talk your way out of this one, OP.
Bloink 25
Well that put some images in my mind @_@
sarcasticlover 30
even a potato is smarter than ur boyfriend!
imchacon22 19
That's the only logical explanation
Pancakes017 19
She must have been fried.
jw90 18
Will he barf mashed potatoes?
Goblin182 27
A banana I could understand. . .
KushCrushin89 10
But 125, you're only thinking of length! Think about girth! "I may not touch the bottom, but I'll stretch the sides!"
ShyAnn29 15
Poor Mrs. Potato Head, she must be devastated!
bellebe1998 16
a dried up shriveled potato...
shitsville 13
And an old, wrinkly one at that!
lpf061472 5
what dose OPmeans?can you tell me?thanks!sorry for my bad english!
lpf061472 5
op是什么意思啊
amisenho 11
Potatoes are quite awesome; is there anything they can't do? I don't blame her.
CrazyGirlfriend 21
202- original poster
dragon8277 9
Potato
j_cat187 20
Yes, that is indeed a word.
yourmurderscenex 13
Patato.
utrax 23
Hey, congratulations! And don't worry, OP, I'm sure he'll realise his mistake.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
anyone else think guilty conscience?
niallo 23
My first thought. The psych term is projection. He's projecting his faults onto someone else.
KawaiiCupcake 14
I think a lot of babies are ugly when they are born. He will grow and become cute :)
ApparentlyNotEno 28
Precisely. He is either cheating, or he has in the past.
Welshite 40
Did you name him Yukon Jr? Familial names are highly traditional.
shorty6823 28
Mr. Potato Heads baby does exist!
AllieCat21 21
Tell him to look up the fact that it takes a certain length of time for the baby's eyes to change to the color that they will be for the rest of its life.
Korra_fml 23
all babies eyes take a different amount of time to adjust to their color. some babies' eyes stay blue forever, like mine did. my older brother's eyes stayed blue up until the day after his 2nd birthday, when they turned green. one of the posters below said his/her baby's eyes changed from blue to brown at about 3 months. my own son's eyes changed from blue to brown in about 2 or 3 weeks.
AllieCat21 21
Regardless, I highly doubt the eye color will get to its permanent color within five days after birth.
EmsyyyRose13 24
My eyes have been brown since birth.
jmacfan1 16
My eyes were changing back and forth between blue and green until they finally stayed green
brinnablaine 22
@117 Mine changed back and forth (blue to green as well) until I was about 10 years old.
WhisperSoflty 20
Shit, I must have been a late bloomer. My eyes didn't decide to be green/grey instead of blue until my freshman year of high school.
Brightbulb 40
At 23 my eyes are still shifting between blue and green every other week.
Korra_fml 23
your eyes can change (very slightly) depending on what you wear. even if u have blue eyes, they can appear slightly green if you wear green. and, yes some babies are born with dark eyes and dark hair, depending on ethnicity.
kyu_Q 19
sadly for OP some babies look like their Grand parents instead of their parents. Good luck convincing him when that happens. I don't know while natural selection has not kicked in and made people like OP'S boyfriend sterile
ShayMarie99 15
My brother looks more like my mother's parents than my father and mother. He has my grandpa's height, and my grandma's eye and hair color.
nystev 13
My eyes turned green when I was 11... there's no real marker.
AllieCat21 21
Let me reword my point: It's ridiculous for the boyfriend to expect the baby to look exactly like him a few days after birth.
monnanon 14
not everyonen is born with blue eyes. my sister was born with brown and they have stayed that way. i have green eyes now but had blue then hazel for a long time. babies who are born with blue eys dont have blue in the sense that children and adults do. its a funny cobolt colour and to me looked similar to petrol with a kind of shiny multicoloured film. after a few days the true eye colour came through but my sons eyes have gradually lightened.
False_Stupidity 42
My eyes got confused, they stayed mostly blue but one turned brown but only in one patch :)
grunt_fml 17
A former girlfriend of mine suffered from a form of schizophrenia (which was diagnosed when we were not together anymore) and often had terrible mood swings and even showed a completely changed behaviour and personality from one minute to the next. Which was really scary sometimes. But what was really freaking me out was the fact that more than once along with personality the color of her eyes changed, sometimes in minutes. Which really freaked me out.
HannahLouise96 13
It really depends on the light too. Sometimes, especially if I'm in the sun, my eyes will look bright blue and then in lighting that is not so bright they'll look dark blue, almost grey. It's impossible to determine what colour a baby's eyes will be when they're five days old. Mine were the typical newborn colour as a baby, navy blue.
gc327072 31
You cheated on him with a wrinkly potato?! How could you do such a thing!
Jivesliven 24
She Dimma didn't give a shit.
fakedsincerity 32
aw potato babies are the cutest. :3
Tthug 34
Got a champion of a boyfriend. He must have skipped high school biology.
Welshite 40
I guess it's better than a cucumber baby...