Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML
Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AkeemKN 1
kill him.
WeirdUp 0
looked in the mirror LIKE A BOSS!!!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
Frickmetinajenks 0
Lol dumbass.
Brandi_Faith 34
I wonder what happened right after!! Did the boss just glare at him? Did he say something? Did op say something like, "just joking"? The after part of this story would be so good! And Op hopefully your boss knows he's been in a bad mood and that the day sucked so maybe he just shrugged it off thinking, "ya that's how I feel", or "the joys of being a boss". Sometimes bosses are aware that people don't like them but it just goes with the job and they don't like if either.
chinkychick 16
Well, op's name is 'fired'. So presumably, that happened?
mikomajik 0
hehehe u so don't do that u **** his daughter/wife/sister/mom duh. revenge is best served on video
Brandi_Faith 34
I wonder what happened right after!! Did the boss just glare at him? Did he say something? Did op say something like, "just joking"? The after part of this story would be so good! And Op hopefully your boss knows he's been in a bad mood and that the day sucked so maybe he just shrugged it off thinking, "ya that's how I feel", or "the joys of being a boss". Sometimes bosses are aware that people don't like them but it just goes with the job and they don't like it either.
WinterBlue42 22
What the OP did is MORE than worthy of being fired. Especially in this economy. Why keep a bad employee when there are dozens of others itching to take their spot?
Perdition 4
So. let me get this straight... a) You have a job. b) Your boss was "being an asshole". c) Instead of graciously doing whatever needed to be done to keep said job (within the confines of the law), you decided to act childish about it. Congratulations. I hope you're fired.
Primus_fml 0
He is Fired. I'm not sure if he lost his job or not though.
DocBastard 40
I assume your boss then pantomimed firing your stupid ass.
smashgrab 0
Doc wins. :)
ninjanate 0
again.
CJrox606 0
Doesn't he always?
WhatTheFuq 0
You guys need to get off docs sack.... just saying.
DocBastard 40
Somebody sounds jealous. I won't say who, but his name rhymes with "WhatTheFuq." Oops. Dammit.
TiffanyBlews27 0
Doc, you're just plain amazing, I hope you know. ^_^
OolioFoolio 0
Doc : 1, WTF: 0
cloudy01 0
OMG U SO DUMB!!!!!
IcyJack 7
Um, yes?
Waffle817 0
wow I remember when I did stuff like that... in like 1st grade
ulicksam 0
Who was being the asshole?
yourmurderscenex 13
yup, thats how you do it. immaturity will get you far!