grant b
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Gun control
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Dallas, United States
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
HelpMe1
Jakarta, Indonesia
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
corey
United States
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
vikts
Olm, Luxembourg
Seize the means of production
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
La Mesa, United States
Sure, come on in…
Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML
Sudokori
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Anonymous
Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…
Today, I went to pick up my last paycheck, since I was fired last week. My boss said he wasn't going to give it to me. I told him it's illegal not to, and he told me with a shit-eating grin, "What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" FML
jobless
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
United States
Lay the blame
Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed afterwards that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML
Killmenow
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
MVP
Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML
Anonymous
United States
Know your place
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Top comments
visiON123 0
Isn't that's how everyone is paid in Texas?
Valentina_Baby 7
And that's how you survive the zombie apocalypse
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Comments (410)
MMAbram 0
how is this even an FML?
visiON123 0
Isn't that's how everyone is paid in Texas?
HippL 0
Not all of us c:
MizzErikaHart 8
tell him you wanna get paid in trident layers.
Kawboy 1
OP must be a drug dealer
XmyviolentheartX 13
I would have totally taken the offer lol. Do you know their street value? =P Make more than what he'd pay you in a paycheck lol. Just saying.
MrSassypants 34
I get paid in monopoly money. But atleast everytime I play monopoly I win. 8)
DudeImBetter 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
unless it's the famas with a silencer don't even bother, don't worry it's worth like 4000 credits. Ask him if he'll also give you ghost pro for free cause that gun isn't even that good without it.
MrSassypants 34
57 Dude you're not better.
YayorNay 8
Well op can just rob the guy afterwards.
johnson94 5
guns don't kill people - Uh Uh - I kill people with guns - Uh huh
QwertyMcNugget 0
No one ever pays me in guns. :[
QwertyMcNugget 0
No one ever pays me in guns. :[
skreech96 0
you also get a gun for every alcoholic drink you buy.
chiddy_bang71 0
there's no 1! the first post is 2!
11jackson11 0
57, how did I know someone would bring call of duty into this?
MyCleverName 2
85 Jon Lajoie reference FTW!!
gideeupp 9
how is this an FML? That would be amazing.
MysLys 0
that's exactly what I was thinking!
MCweSCRAPPY 2
I wish that's how they paid us in Texas!! how the hell is that an fml?! I would kill for that boss!!!
mchael12989 0
win
jmtmxer 0
no no no you got it all wrong ..... we get paid with boots and mexicans here.....
gamepro2112 0
#57 first off you obviously just suck at call of duty considering the famas is one of the better guns, second your just an idiot
arlekin21 0
say yes then use said gun to rob him
rherring 1
guns don't kill people... husbands that come home early do.
christyxbee 15
Only in Texas... ahahaha
jmtmxer 0
no no no y'all got it all wrong ... we get paid with mexicans...
Miq94 0
only in shit hole Texas
agaba 0
and how is this an FML
LaDeeDaDeeDaLaLi 0
201 wat do u got against texas?
MRukkus 5
200th like!!!! your welcome
iownyou777 0
197 I ******* hate you
baseball6917 8
ahahaha 226 is a mexican:p and that's how we get paid in the SOUTH baby!!
anlhawks 5
57- I dunno my dad has about 13 guns and has some pretty nice ones that ya didn't mention.
cjcola169 0
happy Gilmore is one hell of a movie:)
cesfire 0
aww... nobody ever pays me in gum
kay2kay 1
He should ask for a raise. Think of the possibilities, like riding to work in a tank everyday. Traffic...lol what traffic.
6joe9 0
guys where's #1 :p
BossDavyy 0
#1 got banned
itsgonnahappento 11
take the gun and shoot that son of a bitch!
multiplecoloredc 0
I don't see the problem here.
zendaddy0 0
#2 no it comes with every drink
toqwert 0
awesome boss...
ummiforget 0
Hey, that's offensive!
Rapt0rJesus 0
I find your comment profoundly stupid.
Brandon1337 29
Guns don't kill people, bullets do.
Valentina_Baby 7
And that's how you survive the zombie apocalypse
nick315 8
zombie Land lol awesome that his boss was preparing him for that
dondomom 0
i think he means gums, not guns :D
oliver86 8
I think you're wrong
shannonreneee 11
You can never be too prepared for the inevitable future of zombies attacking the world.
Rawr100 0
**** yeah
EatnBeef 7
my boss has been paying me in guns for a Long time now. I recent got a raise.
whyXD 13
so ummm... like where do you work. im trying to find a job.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Paid in .45's? .22's? .308's? .50's? .223's? or the new .416's?
asher888 11
i will take the 135mm shells.
oops_im_fucked 8
Bullets will be quarters!
dragonstrike94 8
He didn't say he gets any ammo
mb2_native 15
why not the .950 JDJ, biggest and most fun rifle ever made :p
DyKy 2
so u don't have to buy them ;) it makes things easier for you ;)
WiderWille 11
Because eating guns has been proven to work in two world wars and a lot of small conflicts. If only the people knew that landmines taste way better than bread, the middle east would love us for placing them there. Ungrateful bastards!
NomOnShroomz 14
You sure he didn't ask you if he could pay you in gum?
atthegates 0
should've told him u already had 2
ImanAzol 4
If you only have two guns, you need a boss who'll give you more.
AZUMIKKEL 3
Just say "no thanks". problem solved
xdust 4
you need more than two! draw the line at 83 unless they are free.
memo619 0
so where exactly do you work?
JapMASTER5000 0
The local Day-care.
metalhead5564 0
LOL
johnson94 5
#6-your picture is so damn funny haha
lalalaughter 0
i think OP's boss was trying to tell OP something...
PrincessesCrown 17
I love your pic
hobojo11 0
yeah i wana work there AMERICA GUNS AND GOD
whosechairisthat 0
love your picture haha
losmiserables 0
Wherever it is I wanna work there! *gets paid with a Barrett .50 cal sniper*
DatWhiteGuy 0
A pre-school.
Rebe_fml 4
Yeah well I get paid in Trident Layers.
BabbiiLovvee 0
I'm jealous
soketgo 0
I don't get paid
MissFukMyLuck 0
your mother must be proud.
hiyourcute 0
No one ever pays me in gum...
Tsunami87 17
if it's a sniper rifle then sweeeet. shoot vermin from miles away :p
1luckys0b 0
your an idiot
TheBananaTheif 0
...says the illiterate transformer. shut up, optimus.
Mr_Plague 8
"YOU'RE" dumbass
andoprime 4
who's your boss I love guns :-p
chiddy_bang71 0
looking at your comment and it profile picture it's hard to believe that u wrote that smiley face.
unknown_669 0
all the way man
LaDeeDaDeeDaLaLi 0
wow u look stunning
emmiep1011 7
say no and that you'll only except pennies
TheRealBruce 12
accept
memphius 4
terrorism. hold out for a bazooka.