Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML
Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
Just accept the offer he made and go first - it gets annoying when people can't accept stuff like that.
Sael_fml 19
climbing the corporate ladder isn't all roses and scented candles
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Comments (61)
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Why didn't he fart while Yins were going back and forth and then just hurry up the stairs
cryssycakesx3 23
a Pittsburgher!
Bethani420 5
moral of the story, go first.
Izabushel 65
I had always interpreted 'raunchy' to mean sexually explicit. So I looked it up, and in America particularly raunchy can also mean shabby, grubby and unkempt. Which helps this FML make more sense. I would have a hard time imaging my boss emitting a sexually explicit fart.
vikky538 29
I like your boss's honesty.. we need a follow-up on this
WinniWong 10
well
cmonger 27
I'm surprised he was able to hold in the fart for so long.
mcamilli 14
Next time you know that you should go first!
cheshireau 26
I knew how that was going to end. My Dad does it to me. But I do feel sorry for you OP. But you'll know for next time.
WaltzingPhanthom 23
I hope your farts are less repulsive.
hard_candy 25
omg this made me laugh so hard!! that is why i like to often hold doors for people I never turn down the offer of being offered courtesy.