Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML
Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
Just accept the offer he made and go first - it gets annoying when people can't accept stuff like that.
Sael_fml 19
climbing the corporate ladder isn't all roses and scented candles
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Comments (61)
interesting33 37
Just accept the offer he made and go first - it gets annoying when people can't accept stuff like that.
MilkyFilmz 26
Cool blobfish icon.
cryssycakesx3 23
he should have let it out while they were going back n forth...
tantanpanda 26
"back and forth insisting". That means they're just standing there; I wouldn't fart before I start walking up those stairs.
wakemeupplease 21
Loot at the bright side... you didn't vom :p
Dave_Davington 34
Well, lesson learned. At least I would hope so.
christian1509 21
What a gentleman
Dick_diamond 22
Shoulda listened to the man...
buckdharma 38
After one flight, you would think you'd go out to the elevators.
sylverdrag_fml 9
Well, next time, you will say "Why, thank you sir" and get moving!
thejonac 21
homestly climbing the stairs is a really small thing- was there really a need to argue over who goes first? if i were your boss (esp if i had offered) i really wouldn't mind if you went first. on the other hand, rejecting the offer might just seem offensive to some sensitive people
Mauskau 36
I just go first anyway, otherwise the other person always goes really slowly. 0 ***** given if they use it as a chance to look at my bum.
vicky_P 3
I once read an article that says a true gentleman lets people off the elevator or climb stairs or enter a room first. But a true gentleman doesn't argue when others let him through or doesn't make people go around him to enter/exit first. Now I don't know if OP is a man or woman or what but I think the rule applies
Dave_Davington 34
But does a true gentleman leave no puzzle unsolved?