Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML
Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML
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Top comments
jDCrackpot 7
Better to pee in a cup in front of a stranger than get fired for refusing to take a drug test. Sure it's uncomfortable but if you haven't taken anything you've got nothing to hide.
alstbv12 13
Yeah he meant that. His iPhone just autocorrected his entire sentence.
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Comments (85)
BeautyMonster 17
Did u explain this to him? Is it your work policy that this can be done? If not, you have been harassed and falsely accused.
Valdrek 26
Hey, at least it wasn't a stool sample.
dragynfyre 4
never said I was smart ass.
Calyx_fml 22
He's not going to test you two days in a row. So after the test smoke up!!
duckymomoxoxo123 0
I already do pee in a cup. Its way better then a toilet.
Toddle 7
That's life for you. Get used to it.
momo1972 3
I don't see a problem unless your guilty of something
Dearthairclann 7
Welcome to reality OP. We live in a world where everyone is guilty until proven innocent. Employment eligibility should be based off of performance only but everything is just too political anymore.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
In case you didn't know - doing any of the drugs that you actually get tested for is a crime. Some companies don't want to hire people who break the law, and that is within their prerogative. Also, no, it shouldn't only be based on performance, there is no way in hell I would employ someone who was a misogynistic asshole who harasses all my female staff even if he was a golden boy. That's not how the world works, being smart/skillful/resourceful should not give you a free ticket to do whatever the heck you want.
calivianya 29
I doubt the other person meant that the way you're taking it. I agreed with him because getting along with your co-workers is part of job performance most places I've worked at.
MeleMallory 0
Try Claritin and Zaditor. great over-the-counter allergy meds! If that doesn't work, go see a doctor. Allergies are not fun!
dragynfyre 4
I've tried claritin, unfortunately my reactions are severe enough that it has no effect. good thing is once it rains and the pollen calmer down the worst of it will be over.
ankoku 2
You didn't have to pee in front of him only a probation officer can do that and only in a criminal case.. If he fired you for that the wrongful termination suit would handle your expenses for a few years!