Today, my best friend got jealous that his dog likes me more. He told me I have to spank it whenever it cuddles with me so it will love him more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, and everyday since we got a puppy in March, my husband is jealous of the puppy who follows me everywhere. He was the one that wanted the puppy and now he practically hates it. FML
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML
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Top comments
XxNekoLovexX 26
I do believe I detect a bit of jealousy *sips tea* in all seriousness, that's ****** up of your friend to make you hit his dog so it'll hate you and love him. I detect future relationship issues with this one.
chirstinap325 23
What if his dog likes being spanked? His plan will backfire lol
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Comments (30)
OhPuhleeze 23
Maybe you could just get her a dog that likes her more... You could keep this one... Or tell her the secret is bacon bits in your pocket.. A -la Jack Nicholson in "As good as it gets"..
DanaeZee 18
Run, run from this freak! ...and don’t forget to take the dog with you.
neuronerd 29
Your friend sounds like someone who should not be allowed to have a dog, seeing as he encourages animal abuse.
FlexMaster 10
why downvote she tell truth
Isa_fml 20
He's so insecure that he wants you to abuse an animal for the sake of his ego? This jackass shouldn't even HAVE a dog.
manuwish 9
this person should not have a dog :( hit him instead!
Artures_way1 23
This is so inappropriate. The dog won't live your friend more, it will only be scared of you. Plus spanking a dog does not help, it's just mean.
Sevarog 13
I mean, it is really bad if your own dog loves someone else more than you. But having the other person spank it whenever it wants to cuddle is not the way to deal with it...
rustybucket 24
Hmmm I wonder why the dog likes you more? That's a ****** up mentality to have. You should tell him to treat his dog better and then maybe he'll get the affection he wants.
MrsHoffman 11
Time to find a new best friend!
TheSaiyanQueen 8
Pretty sure that's called animal abuse..